“A World Cup without Zlatan is not worth watching.”

Come over to my house with your sister, baby, and I’ll show you who’s gay!

It’s true I don’t know that much about Ligue 1, but Ligue 1 knows who I am.

Only God knows You’re talking to him now.

I like being the one who makes a difference. On the pitch, I always try to create a special situation.

It was the fault of David Trezeguet, who made me do one drink of vodka after another. I slept in the bathtub. Now I hold my vodka much better.

I don’t need the Ballon d’Or to know I’m the best. It matters more to some players

José Mourinho is a big star. He’s nice. The first time he met Helena [Ibrahimovic’s partner] he whispered to her: ‘Helena, you have only one mission – feed Zlatan, let him sleep, keep him happy.’ That guy says whatever he wants. I like him.

It is nice when people recognize me and approach me in the street. Anyone who says they don’t like that is lying.

One thing is for sure, a World Cup without me is nothing to watch so it is not worthwhile to wait for the World Cup.

I think I’m like wine. The older I get, the better I get.

An injured Zlatan is a pretty serious thing for any team.

That’s how it is with the English: if you score against them you’re a good player; if you don’t, you’re not.

Arsenal could have happened, as everybody knows, but I would not do a trial. Who do you think regrets that more – Arsene Wenger or Zlatan?

When I got the red card all the Chelsea players come around. It felt like I had a lot of babies around me.

England is a very strong league, with three or four of the best teams in Europe, but, if I had played there, I would have destroyed it, like I have everywhere else.

I’m like Muhammed Ali. When he said he would knock someone out in the fourth round, he did it.