Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they’re done towards yourself.
ZACH GALIFIANAKISI understand Tea Partyers’ anger with the system, but they are in way over their heads and often racially motivated, and I can’t be part of that.
More Zach Galifianakis Quotes
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My girlfriend and I went to a dinner party the other night and we ended up playing charades. There was another couple there that was deaf. They were so good.
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Tigers love pepper…they hate cinnamon.
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I dream of starting a three-man country trio called the Chixie Dicks.
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Element of surprise is really fun for me in comedy. I have to be surprised, and everything’s been done.
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I would have changed my last name if being famous were my goal.
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I call my balls the bush twins.
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My New Year’s resolution was to stop saying ‘You go, girl’ to myself.
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I do not have a helmet. But this is a wig, so it’s a little protective.
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I love playing a curmudgeon. I just love playing a sour guy.
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I don’t know what my assistant would do besides get me pot.
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I don’t want to do an edgy show, I didn’t want bad language. I think edginess is the new hackiness.
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Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. There’s just too much money.
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I understand Tea Partyers’ anger with the system, but they are in way over their heads and often racially motivated, and I can’t be part of that.
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The congressmen and senators used to go have a drink in D.C. They would disagree all day long, but they would find that time to sit down and learn about each other personally. I think that’s totally wiped out; I don’t think it really exists anymore.
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When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese.
ZACH GALIFIANAKIS