Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they’re done towards yourself.
ZACH GALIFIANAKISFat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they’re done towards yourself.
More Zach Galifianakis Quotes
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My New Year’s resolution was to stop saying ‘You go, girl’ to myself.
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I would have changed my last name if being famous were my goal.
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I don’t know what my assistant would do besides get me pot.
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I do not have a helmet. But this is a wig, so it’s a little protective.
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Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. There’s just too much money.
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The congressmen and senators used to go have a drink in D.C. They would disagree all day long, but they would find that time to sit down and learn about each other personally. I think that’s totally wiped out; I don’t think it really exists anymore.
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When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese.
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I love playing a curmudgeon. I just love playing a sour guy.
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I dream of starting a three-man country trio called the Chixie Dicks.
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I understand Tea Partyers’ anger with the system, but they are in way over their heads and often racially motivated, and I can’t be part of that.
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My girlfriend and I went to a dinner party the other night and we ended up playing charades. There was another couple there that was deaf. They were so good.
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Element of surprise is really fun for me in comedy. I have to be surprised, and everything’s been done.
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I get burned out on standup. But I like acting. I do like it. But sometimes you just feel like a monkey. You just feel like a complete tool. But I like it. I do like it. Stand-up is just more free. A lot more freedom because you just do what you want to do.
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Tigers love pepper…they hate cinnamon.
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I call my balls the bush twins.
ZACH GALIFIANAKIS