A mental midget with the IQ of a fence post.
TOM WAITSWe are all just monkeys with money and guns.
More Tom Waits Quotes
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The ocean doesn’t want me today, But I’ll come back tomorrow to play. The riptide is waging And the life guard’s away But the ocean doesn’t want me today.
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The blues is like a planet. It’s an enormous topic. You can’t ignore the impact that it has had and continues to have on the whole musical culture. It’s a tree that everyone is swinging from. Without it, I don’t know where I would be. It’s indelible and indispensable.
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We are all just monkeys with money and guns.
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It’s very hard to stop doing things you’re used to doing. You almost have to dismantle yourself and scatter it all around and then put a blindfold on and put it back together so that you avoid old habits.
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I guess I’ve always lived upside down when I want things I can’t have.
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There’s nothing that makes me laugh more than being in the situation where you’re not supposed to laugh. Funerals. People crying. Breaking down. Telling you their life. I’m the worst. I’m the worst at that.
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We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness. We are monkeys with money and guns.
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I don’t go to church on Sunday, don’t get on my knees to pray, or memorize the books of the Bible, I got my own special way
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I’m just trying to make a buck like everyone else.
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Arithmetic arithmetock Turn the hands back on the clock How does the ocean rock the boat? How did the razor find my throat? The only strings that hold me here Are tangled up around the pier.
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You got to tell me the brave captain Why are the wicked so strong? How do the angels get to sleep When the devil leaves the porch light on?
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The trick is to have a career and have a family. It’s like having two dogs that hate each other and you have to take them for a walk every night.
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Never trust a man in a blue trench coat, never drive a car when you’re dead.
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I’m the type of guy who’d sell you a rat’s asshole for a wedding ring.
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I was always laughing in church.
TOM WAITS






