“Mr. Bean is essentially a child trapped in the body of a man. All cultures identify with children in a similar way, so he has this bizarre global outreach.”

For telling a good and incisive religious joke, you should be praised. For telling a bad one, you should be ridiculed and reviled. The idea that you could be prosecuted for the telling of either is quite fantastic.

I would never be a television presenter. It’s not something I could ever do.

To be successful you don’t need beautiful face and heroic body, what you need is skillful mind and ability to perform.

If you get the quality right, then the marketability or whatever; your ability to sell videos or your ability to earn money or whatever, will follow naturally.

If you get the quality right, then the marketability or whatever; your ability to sell videos or your ability to earn money or whatever, will follow naturally.

What is wrong with inciting intense dislike of a religion if the activities or teachings of that religion are so outrageous, irrational or abusive of human rights that they deserve to be intensely disliked?

I’m certainly not aware of suppressing more sophisticated ambitions.

It’s a bit disconcerting being treated like Madonna.

I tend to play rather odd men. People that are slightly odd or eccentric, or have a more particular attitude to life.

If you’re a serious actor, it’s when you know you’re going to die tomorrow that you really start to feel it.

I have to say that I’ve always believed perfectionism is more of a disease than a quality. I do try to go with the flow but I can’t let go.

Lord, thy one-liners are as good as thy tricks. Thou art indeed an all-round family entertainer.

Apart from the fact that your physical ability starts to decline, I also think someone in their fifties being childlike becomes a little sad. You’ve got to be careful.

In the modern media age, we are rarely surprised by what we see.

Excellence is not an act but a habit.

It’s not easy to take a sit-com and turn it into a feature.

Don’t be shy my love come close not with body but with raw emotion.

The body is a sacred garment. It’s your first and last garment; it is what you enter life in and what you depart life with, and it should be treated with honor.

I would be a giraffe because I just want to experience what a sore throat and being a giraffe feels like. It would be really uncomfortable walking around in the Sahara and being like, ‘I really need, like, 15 lozenges for my giraffe body.’

Crawl inside this body, find me where I am most ruined— love me there.

Don’t go for the booty if it kills you.

Confront a corpse at least once. The absolute absence of life is the most disturbing and challenging confrontation you will ever have.

When you fall in love with a person, you don’t fall in love with their body. You fall in love with their names, their favorite places, their moments of life and much more again.

One of my daughters was a bit flat-chested, so she had implants and she’s got a lovely pair now. I see nothing wrong with it.