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f I were a headmaster I would get rid of the history teacher and get a chocolate teacher instead.

Roald Dahl

Give us strength, oh Lord, to let our children starve.
ROALD DAHL

Children Lord Strave Strength
But it is impossible to replace a person one has loved to distraction.
ROALD DAHL

Distraction Impossible Love Person replace
Then suddenly, he was struck by a powerful but simple little truth, and it was this: that English grammar is governed by rules that are almost mathematical in their strictness!
ROALD DAHL

English Mathematics Powerful Rule Simplicity Strict Truth
Kindness – that simple word. To be kind – it covers everything, to my mind. If you’re kind that’s it.
ROALD DAHL

Courtesy Kindness Mind Positive
lalalalalalallalalallalalalal have nothing to say.
ROALD DAHL

Funny Humour
The prime function of the children’s book writer is to write a book that is so absorbing, exciting, funny, fast and beautiful that the child will fall in love with it.
ROALD DAHL

Absorb Beautiful Book Children Excitement Fall In Love Function Funny Prime
I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me.
ROALD DAHL

Annoy Children Deliberate Grow Up Humour Understand
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray, go throw your TV set away, and in its place you can install, a lovely bookshelf on the wall.
ROALD DAHL

Away Beg Book Place Television Throw Wall
I’ve heard tell that what you imagine sometimes comes true.
ROALD DAHL

Come Dreams Imagination Inspirational True
Life is more fun if you play games.
ROALD DAHL

Fun Game Life One Liner Play
Two hours of writing fiction leaves this writer completely drained. For those two hours he has been in a different place with totally different people.
ROALD DAHL

Different Drain Fiction Leaving People Place Writing
And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.
ROALD DAHL

Business Eyes Greatness Hide Inspirational Place Secret World
It doesn’t matter who you are or what you look like, so long as somebody loves you.
ROALD DAHL

Couple Love Matter
I’m right and you’re wrong, I’m big and you’re small, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
ROALD DAHL

Humour Right Wrong
You should never, never doubt something that no one is sure of.
ROALD DAHL

Doubt Human Nature Relationship Rumor Sure
Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It’s made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!
ROALD DAHL

Breakfast Food Humour Pencil

f I were a headmaster I would get rid of the history teacher and get a chocolate teacher instead.

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f I were a headmaster I would get rid of the history teacher and get a chocolate teacher instead.

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