Joke Quotes

I live on a ranch in Texas and do my own thing. And I don’t care what anyone has to say about it. My joke is that the only people I’m trying to please are myself and my fans, because they’re the ones buying my records. And I have the best, most loyal fan base ever.

Existentialists are monumentally and monotonously serious; they don’t like to joke.

Math jokes have a small audience.

I can be reasonably funny and light-hearted when I’m in the company of good friends, but I’m not a jokesmith. I tend to be quite serious.

When I put that first Vine out, I was just doing it for fun; there was no wanting to become an artist.

The joke was that President Bush only declared war when Starbucks was hit. You can mess with the U.N. all you want, but when you start interfering with the right to get caffeinated, someone has to pay.

For telling a good and incisive religious joke, you should be praised. For telling a bad one, you should be ridiculed and reviled. The idea that you could be prosecuted for the telling of either is quite fantastic.

Every Joke is a Tiny Revolution.

Sometimes, we all laugh for a joke which is not funny and cry for a love not meant to be.

The happiness and the joy that I see in the eyes of the children. They saved my life so I want to, give it back. I’m not joking.