Adam Ferrara Quotes

Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: ‘Swear to God, man – the hooker gave the money back.’

Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you’re happy, you let us touch you.

I don’t think I’ll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women.

Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.

The human body is in constant change the minute we’re born. It’s in a constant state of decay. We’re all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.

My pop is this big, huge man, nothing can hurt him. I went running into his bedroom like, ‘Daddy, Daddy, the boogie man’s under the bed!’ Pop opens one eye, he’s like, ‘Is the boogie man bigger than me?’ ‘

I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date.

Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, ‘How’s it going with that girl?’ ‘One day at a time, man.’

Just to p-s you off, that’s why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.’