Vice is its own reward.
QUENTIN CRISPHappiness is the only thing I understand.
More Quentin Crisp Quotes
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If you describe things as better than they are, you are considered to be a romantic; if you describe things as worse than they are, you will be called a realist; and if you describe things exactly as they are, you will be thought of as a satirist.
QUENTIN CRISP -
Nothing more rapidly inclines a person to go into a monastery than reading a book on etiquette. There are so many trivial ways in which it is possible to commit some social sin.
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The happiest moments in any affair take place after the loved one has learned to accommodate the lover and before the maddening personality of either party has emerged like a jagged rock from the receding tides of lust and curiosity.
QUENTIN CRISP -
Never sweep. After four years the dirt gets no worse.
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I would have run all the way and I would have gone up to the largest and leatheriest of the denizens and said: If you truly love me, kill the bartender.
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You fall out of your mother’s womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave.
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It may be true that artists adopt a flamboyant appearance, but it’s also true that people who look funny get stuck with the arts.
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I never saw Portsmouth by day.
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Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
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An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing.
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Mainstream people dislike homosexuality because they can’t help concentrating on what homosexual men do to one another. And when you contemplate what people do, you think of yourself doing it. And they don’t like that. That’s the famous joke:
QUENTIN CRISP -
I’ve never not been famous.
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It’s a strange situation, but people will pay your fare to get you to go and tell them how to be happy.
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Flowers are words even a baby can understand.
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What my parents thought of this, I don’t know. But they bore it. And the real problem was not my sin, but my unemployability.
QUENTIN CRISP