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Happiness is the only thing I understand.

Quentin Crisp

Quentin Crisp (to handsome young man on the street): “What’s the matter, sexy? Don’t you like dehydrated fruit?
QUENTIN CRISP

Dehydrate Handsome Man Matter People Sexy Street Young
Never sweep. After four years the dirt gets no worse.
QUENTIN CRISP

After Dirt Four Get never Sweep Worse Year
It’s a strange situation, but people will pay your fare to get you to go and tell them how to be happy.
QUENTIN CRISP

Build Fare Happy Pay Situation Strange Tell
Assoon as I stepped out of my mother’s womb on to dry land, I realized that I had made a mistake?but the trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
QUENTIN CRISP

Children Dry Land Made Mother Out Realize Return Soon Step Trouble Womb
I would have run all the way and I would have gone up to the largest and leatheriest of the denizens and said: If you truly love me, kill the bartender.
QUENTIN CRISP

Bartender Leather Love Run Would Gone
I like living in one room and have never known what people do with the room they are not in.
QUENTIN CRISP

Know Love never One People Room
If a man were to look over the fence on one side of his garden and observe that the neighbor on his left had laid his garden path round a central lawn; and were to look over the fence on the other side of his garden and observe that the neighbor on his right had laid his path down the middle of the lawn.
QUENTIN CRISP

Central Fence Garden Laid Lawn Left Man Neighbour Observe Ook Over Path Round Side Were
Believe in fate, but lean forward where fate can see you.
QUENTIN CRISP

Believe Can Fate Forward Learn See You
I was amazed to receive later a substantial sum for sitting in my room and talking about myself. If only I could get some of the back pay!
QUENTIN CRISP

Amaze Back Later Myself Pay Recieve Sitting Som Substantial Sum Talk
Keeping up with the Joneses was a full-time job with my mother and father. It was not until many years later when I lived alone that I realized how much cheaper it was to drag the Joneses down to my level.
QUENTIN CRISP

Alone Down Drag Father Full Kepp Level Mother People Realize Time Until Year
I had a friend who had two degrees of being made up: when invited I would say ‘Can I make up?’ and he would say ‘Oh yes – tinted?’, or he would say, ‘Oh yes – clotted?’
QUENTIN CRISP

Being Friend Invite Limited Made Yes
The worst part of being gay in the twentieth century is all that damn disco music to which one has to listen.
QUENTIN CRISP

All Being Century Damm Disco Listen Music Open Part Twentieth Worst
You must stop this interview now as I have come to end of my personality.
QUENTIN CRISP

Come End Have Interview Personality Stop
If love means anything at all it means extending your hand to the unlovable.
QUENTIN CRISP

Anything Extend Hard Love Men Unlovable
I don’t think you can really be proud of being gay because it isn’t something you’ve done. You can only be proud of not being ashamed.
QUENTIN CRISP

Ashamed Being Gay Proud Really Something Sone Think
The young always have the same problem – how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.
QUENTIN CRISP

Always Conform Problem Rebel Same Time Young

Happiness is the only thing I understand.

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Happiness is the only thing I understand.

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