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It’s no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, ‘Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.’ By then, pigs will be your style.

Quentin Crisp

When asked, ‘Shall I tell my mother I’m gay?’, I reply, ‘Never tell your mother anything.
QUENTIN CRISP

Anything Ask Gay Mother never Shall Tell
It’s a strange situation, but people will pay your fare to get you to go and tell them how to be happy.
QUENTIN CRISP

Build Fare Happy Pay Situation Strange Tell
My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.
QUENTIN CRISP

Father Mother Protect Threatened World
If a man were to look over the fence on one side of his garden and observe that the neighbor on his left had laid his garden path round a central lawn; and were to look over the fence on the other side of his garden and observe that the neighbor on his right had laid his path down the middle of the lawn.
QUENTIN CRISP

Central Fence Garden Laid Lawn Left Man Neighbour Observe Ook Over Path Round Side Were
Of course I lie to people. But I lie altruistically – for our mutual good. The lie is the basic building block of good manners. That may seem mildly shocking to a moralist – but then what isn’t?
QUENTIN CRISP

Altruistically Basic Block Building Good Lie Manner Mutual Ofcourse People
Our clothes are too much a part of us for most of us ever to be entirely indifferent to their condition: it is as though the fabric were indeed a natural extension of the body, or even of the soul.
QUENTIN CRISP

Cloth Condition Ever Fabric Indeed Indifferent Most Much Our Part Though Too
Neither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret.
QUENTIN CRISP

Backward Doubt Forward Look Neither Regret
Believe in fate, but lean forward where fate can see you.
QUENTIN CRISP

Believe Can Fate Forward Learn See You
To live in the past is to miss today’s opportunities and tomorrow’s blessings.
QUENTIN CRISP

Blessing Live Miss Opportunity Pass Today Tomorrow
The happiest moments in any affair take place after the loved one has learned to accommodate the lover and before the maddening personality of either party has emerged like a jagged rock from the receding tides of lust and curiosity.
QUENTIN CRISP

Accommodate Affair Before Happiest Learn Love Lover Maddening Moment Personality Place Take
The trouble with European cities is that they are drenched in their history, almost all of which is terrible.
QUENTIN CRISP

Almost City Country Drench History Terrible Trouble
And were then to lay his own garden path diagonally from one corner to the other, that man’s soul would be lost. Originality is only to be praised when not prefaced by the look to right and left.
QUENTIN CRISP

Diagonality Garden Left Look Lost Originality Other Right Soul Were
The measure of woman’s distaste for any part of her life lies not in the loudness of her lamentations (these are only an attempt to buy a martyr’s crown at a reduced price) but in her persistent pursuit of that occupation of which she never ceases to complain.
QUENTIN CRISP

Any Attempt Buy Cease Complain Crown Distaste Kie Lamentation Life Loudness Martyr Measure Occupation Part Persistent Price Pursuit Reduced Woman
Flowers are words even a baby can understand.
QUENTIN CRISP

Baby Even Flower Understand Word
An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing.
QUENTIN CRISP

Autograph From Installment Last Miss Obituary Serial
Nothing more rapidly inclines a person to go into a monastery than reading a book on etiquette. There are so many trivial ways in which it is possible to commit some social sin.
QUENTIN CRISP

Book Etiquette Inch Monastery More Nothing Person Rapidly Read

It’s no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, ‘Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.’ By then, pigs will be your style.

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It’s no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, ‘Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.’ By then, pigs will be your style.

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Popular Authors

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