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Manners are a way of getting what you want without appearing to be an absolute swine.

Quentin Crisp

I asked a girl who came from America to England, when I was only English, and she admitted she had been to a drama school. And I said, “What did they teach you?” And she said, “They taught me to be a candle burning in an empty room.”
QUENTIN CRISP

Admit Ask Been Burn Came Candle Country Drama Empty English Girl Out Room School She Taught Teach
When I was young, we thought that Oscar Wilde was a great nobleman who had thrown his life away for love. Nothing could be less true. He slept with East Enders who were procured for him by Lord Alfred Douglas.
QUENTIN CRISP

Away Great Life Love Nobleman Oscar Through Throw Wide Young
If love means anything at all it means extending your hand to the unlovable.
QUENTIN CRISP

Anything Extend Hard Love Men Unlovable
Health consists of having the same diseases as one’s neighbors.
QUENTIN CRISP

Consist Disease Health Neighbour One Same
The happiest moments in any affair take place after the loved one has learned to accommodate the lover and before the maddening personality of either party has emerged like a jagged rock from the receding tides of lust and curiosity.
QUENTIN CRISP

Accommodate Affair Before Happiest Learn Love Lover Maddening Moment Personality Place Take
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, ‘Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe?’
QUENTIN CRISP

Atheist Audience Believe Catholics Country God Northern People Protestants Said Stood Took Woman Yes
Vice is its own reward.
QUENTIN CRISP

Own Reward Vice
While I have very little to say in favor of sex (it’s vastly overrated, it’s frequently unnecessary, and it’s messy), it is greatly to be preferred to the interminable torments of romantic agony through which two people tear one another limb from limb while professing altruistic devotion.
QUENTIN CRISP

Favour Frequently Little Messy Overrated Say Unnecessary Vastly
Assoon as I stepped out of my mother’s womb on to dry land, I realized that I had made a mistake?but the trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
QUENTIN CRISP

Children Dry Land Made Mother Out Realize Return Soon Step Trouble Womb
The trouble with European cities is that they are drenched in their history, almost all of which is terrible.
QUENTIN CRISP

Almost City Country Drench History Terrible Trouble
Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne.
QUENTIN CRISP

Cologne Diplomatic Euphemism Truth Unpleasant Wear
The gymnasiacs of Venice, in California, are so addicted to these practices that there has arisen a nation of men who can no longer put their arms against their sides
QUENTIN CRISP

Addict Arisen Arm Country Gymnastics Longer Men Nation People Practice Side
Happiness is the only thing I understand.
QUENTIN CRISP

Happiness One Liner Only Thing Understand
However low a man sinks he never reaches the level of the police.
QUENTIN CRISP

However Level Low Man never Police Reach Sink
Our clothes are too much a part of us for most of us ever to be entirely indifferent to their condition: it is as though the fabric were indeed a natural extension of the body, or even of the soul.
QUENTIN CRISP

Cloth Condition Ever Fabric Indeed Indifferent Most Much Our Part Though Too
Is not the whole world a vast house of assignation of which the filing system has been lost?
QUENTIN CRISP

Assignation Been Fill House Lost System Vast Whole

Manners are a way of getting what you want without appearing to be an absolute swine.

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Manners are a way of getting what you want without appearing to be an absolute swine.

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