The English think that incompetence is the same thing as sincerity.
QUENTIN CRISPHealth consists of having the same diseases as one’s neighbors.
More Quentin Crisp Quotes
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In England, nobody’s your friend.
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The happiest moments in any affair take place after the loved one has learned to accommodate the lover and before the maddening personality of either party has emerged like a jagged rock from the receding tides of lust and curiosity.
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Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.
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If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.
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If a man were to look over the fence on one side of his garden and observe that the neighbor on his left had laid his garden path round a central lawn; and were to look over the fence on the other side of his garden and observe that the neighbor on his right had laid his path down the middle of the lawn.
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If you describe things as better than they are, you are considered to be a romantic; if you describe things as worse than they are, you will be called a realist; and if you describe things exactly as they are, you will be thought of as a satirist.
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Never sweep. After four years the dirt gets no worse.
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It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue. Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the last, as we flop into our graves exhausted, we are told that we didn’t give enough.
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Ask yourself, if there was to be no blame, and if there was to be no praise, who would I be then?
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To live in the past is to miss today’s opportunities and tomorrow’s blessings.
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In England, the system is benign and the people are hostile. In America, the people are friendlyand the system is brutal!
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Fashion is what you adopt when you don’t know who you are.
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Believe in fate, but lean forward where fate can see you.
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He knew them only ‘in Braille’ – the curtains were never drawn back in the rooms in Oxford where he met those boys. It was the most sordid life you can imagine. And he was bleating about love and dragging the fair name of Mr. Plato into the trial – after a life like that?
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Happiness is the only thing I understand.
QUENTIN CRISP