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When asked, ‘Shall I tell my mother I’m gay?’, I reply, ‘Never tell your mother anything.

Quentin Crisp

I don’t really act. I say the words the way I would say them if I meant them.
QUENTIN CRISP

Act Meant Really Say Them Word Would
Believe in fate, but lean forward where fate can see you.
QUENTIN CRISP

Believe Can Fate Forward Learn See You
One should always be wary of anyone who promises that their love will last longer than a weekend.
QUENTIN CRISP

Always Anyone Last Longer Love Wary Weekend
Why get married? For human beings, marriage is such an unnatural state. If you want monogamy, it has been said, you should marry a swan.
QUENTIN CRISP

Being Human Mariage Married State Such Unnatural
Manners are a way of getting what you want without appearing to be an absolute swine.
QUENTIN CRISP

Absolute Appear Get Manner Swine Want Way
The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
QUENTIN CRISP

Achieve Disaster Formula never Relationship Simple Successful Treat Trivialities
The world now seems a stunningly ignoble place. It has not really grown all that much worse but appears to have done so because we know so much more about it than we did.
QUENTIN CRISP

Appear Done Grown Ignoble Much Now Place Really Seem Stunningly Word
Look inward and ask not if there is anything outside you want, but whether there is anything inside that you have not yet unpacked.
QUENTIN CRISP

Anything Ask Inside Look Outside Unpack
Women have decided to be people, which is a great mistake. Women were nicer than people.
QUENTIN CRISP

Decide Great Mistake Nicer People Women
The … problem that confronts homosexuals is that they set out to win the love of a “real” man. If they succeed, they fail. A man who “goes with” other men is not what they would call a real man. The conundrum is incapable of resolution, but that does not make homosexuals give it up.
QUENTIN CRISP

Confront Fail Homosexual Love Man Out Problem Real Set Succeed Win
The flagrantly gay Quentin Crisp dealt with homophobic bullying by refusing to bow to its onslaught. His number listed in the phone directory, he responded to derogatory remarks accompanied with a stated intent to kill him by asking, “Would you like to make an appointment?”
QUENTIN CRISP

Bullying Country Directory Flagrantly Gay Homophobic Listed Number Onslaught People Person Phone Refuse
I would have run all the way and I would have gone up to the largest and leatheriest of the denizens and said: If you truly love me, kill the bartender.
QUENTIN CRISP

Bartender Leather Love Run Would Gone
Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.
QUENTIN CRISP

Account Hearer Journey Laugh Misfortunate Nothing Permit Pleasantly Shorten
The trouble with children is that they’re not returnable.
QUENTIN CRISP

Children Returnable Trouble
Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses.
QUENTIN CRISP

Character Dab Euphemism Find Hand Intelligence Modify Powerless Weakness
Health consists of having the same diseases as one’s neighbors.
QUENTIN CRISP

Consist Disease Health Neighbour One Same

When asked, ‘Shall I tell my mother I’m gay?’, I reply, ‘Never tell your mother anything.

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When asked, ‘Shall I tell my mother I’m gay?’, I reply, ‘Never tell your mother anything.

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Popular Authors

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