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If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat – in other words, turn you into an adult.

P. J. O'Rourke

I don’t even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I’ve never used a computer.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Computer Gaze Know One Suppose Use
When I’m in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Car Only Shout
Bill Clinton is not a hypocrite. If a man believes that it is just and moral to redistribute wealth, there is nothing hypocritical in his attempts to redistribute some of that wealth to himself.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Attempt Believe Hypocrite Man Moral President Redistribute
If you ask the government to solve all of your problems, it’s a bit like asking your wife to cook and clean, to raise the children, to hold down a second job to help with the family finances, to keep her parents happy and well and keep your parents happy and well, and to also – to do the lawn and clean the gutters.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Ask Children Clean Cook Down Government Hold Problem Solve
I like fiction and the kind of history that gives the grace and flavor of fiction to the past. No bloviation on current events, please. I can write that junk myself.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Event Favour Fiction Grace History Kind Please Write
Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Economic Globalization Marketplace Open Simply World
Once you’ve built the big machinery of political power, remember you won’t always be the one to run it.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Always Build Machinery Once One Political Remember Rum
Liberals have invented whole college majors – psychology, sociology and women’s studies – to prove that nothing is anybody’s fault.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Fault Invent Liberal Major Psychology Sociology Study Women
The best and brightest don’t go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Best Bright Brightest Goldman Politics
The world is being run by irresponsible spoiled brats.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Being Brat Irresponsible Spoil World
Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Difficult Discipline Parent Properly Size
Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Bad Family Love Messy Pattern Wallpaper
They are just really stupid people in Hollywood. You write them a script, and they say they love it, they absolutely love it. Then they say, ‘But doesn’t it need a small dog, and an Eskimo, and shouldn’t it be set in New Guinea?’ And you say, ‘But it is a sophisticated romantic comedy set in Paris.’
P. J. O'ROURKE

Absolute Love People Really Say Script Stupid Write
There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as ‘caring’ and ‘sensitive’ because he wants to expand the government’s charitable programs is merely saying that he’s willing to try to do good with other people’s money.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Advocate Charity Compulsory Government Merely Politician Virtue
The people who despise America are the editors of the ‘New Statesman.’ Their green-card applications must have been turned down.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Association Card Country Desire Down Editor Green People Turn
Woodstock had a tremendous impact on American artistic life.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Artistic Country Impact Life Tremendous Woodstock

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat – in other words, turn you into an adult.

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If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat – in other words, turn you into an adult.

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Popular Authors

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