To mistrust science and deny the validity of scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You’d better go look for work as a plant or wild animal.
P. J. O'ROURKEFamily love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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The best and brightest don’t go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs.
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Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.
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When I’m in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me.
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I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ‘learning experience.’ Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a ‘learning experience.’ It makes me feel less stupid.
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Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
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Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.
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Ending wars is very simple if you surrender.
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Will Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let’s hope so.
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No doubt the ridiculous politicians are right to like politics. They have found careers in which success can be achieved by being ridiculous. Imagine Jimmy Carter or George W. Bush rising to the top of any other profession.
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My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow… he wasn’t evil or anything, but he was worthless.
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If you spend 72 hours in a place you’ve never been, talking to people whose language you don’t speak about social, political, and economic complexities you don’t understand, and you come back as the world’s biggest know-it-all, you’re a reporter. Either that or you’re President Obama.
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Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino’s box.
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Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.
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The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
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The beauty of democracy is that an average, random, unremarkable citizen can lead it.
P. J. O'ROURKE






