Catchphrases flourish in contemporary American English.
P. J. O'ROURKEThe problem in Afghanistan is really not so much land as water. It’s a dry country with ample amounts of water running through it, but not to good enough effect.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
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Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants.
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Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.
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You’re never going to read ‘The Wealth of Nations,’ and you shouldn’t, really. It’s 900 pages.
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Nobody is making Americans buy Chinese goods.
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Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.
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No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it’s probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.
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Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
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Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.
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It’s better to make fun of yourself because you’ve always got someone around to make fun of, and they can’t sue you.
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People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.
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I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ‘learning experience.’ Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a ‘learning experience.’ It makes me feel less stupid.
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If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat – in other words, turn you into an adult.
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I was very much in favor of the Iraq invasion.
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Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the kids, just makes for a pleasanter atmosphere.
P. J. O'ROURKE