There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.
P. J. O'ROURKEOnce you’ve built the big machinery of political power, remember you won’t always be the one to run it.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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When you’re a war correspondent, the reader is for you because the reader is saying, ‘Gee, I wouldn’t want to be doing that.’ They’re on your side.
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I read good. I was an English major.
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Will Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let’s hope so.
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The problem in Afghanistan is really not so much land as water. It’s a dry country with ample amounts of water running through it, but not to good enough effect.
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Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.
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Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants.
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All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.
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If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
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Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters.
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The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.
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Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
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Nobody is making Americans buy Chinese goods.
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No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism.
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If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat – in other words, turn you into an adult.
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The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you’re rich.
P. J. O'ROURKE