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Once you’ve built the big machinery of political power, remember you won’t always be the one to run it.

P. J. O'Rourke

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Government Illegal Product Sell
The C student starts a restaurant. The A student writes restaurant reviews.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Restaurant Review Start Student
The importance of local governance may not be obvious to an America accustomed to treating city and state downfalls with doses of federal comeuppance. Sometimes there’s a reason for that – the Civil War. More often, all reasoning seems absent – No Child Left Behind.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Behind Civil Downfall Government Importance Local State Treat War
The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Act Enough Government Idea Pay People Whole
By the end of the 1950s, American cars were so reliable that their reliability went without saying even in car ads. Thousands of them bear testimony to this today, still running on the roads of Cuba though fueled with nationalized Venezuelan gasoline and maintained with spit and haywire.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Car Country End Ernt Reliable Say Thousand
Let’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools – and use it on the teachers.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Corporal Introduce Let Punishment School Tracker Use
Fiscal conservatism is just an easy way to express something that is a bit more difficult, which is that the size and scope of government, and really the size and scope of politics in our lives, has grown uncomfortable, unwieldy, intrusive and inefficient.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Bit Difficult Express Fiction Government More Past Size Something
The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Democrat Government Lawn Make Party Republican Smarter
There is only one thing that gives me hope as a Republican, and that is the Democrats. It’s going to be hard to do a worse job running American than the Republicans have, but if anybody can do it, it’s the Democrats.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Democrat Great Hope Job One Republican Run Thing
Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Bad Family Love Messy Pattern Wallpaper
Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Black People Reformer Some Think Voter
Just because a subject is serious doesn’t mean it doesn’t have plenty of absurdities.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Just Mean Plenty Serious Subject
There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Horizon Many Toledo Tree
No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it’s probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Answer History Human Humor Literacy Obligation Probably Provide Under
Why do elites hate the poor? It’s xenophobia. They don’t know any poor people – except their off-the-books Brazilian nanny and illegal immigrant cleaning lady from Upper Revolta who don’t speak English.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Book Elite English Except People Poor Speak Xenophobia
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Give Government Money Poer Teenage Whiskey

Once you’ve built the big machinery of political power, remember you won’t always be the one to run it.

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Once you’ve built the big machinery of political power, remember you won’t always be the one to run it.

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Popular Authors

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