Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
P. J. O'ROURKEThe proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.
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Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God’s infinite mercy, a last resort.
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If we heard that somebody starved to death in Sweden or Switzerland, we would be shocked.
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Will Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let’s hope so.
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The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it.
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When I’m in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me.
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Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters.
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Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants.
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People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively.
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You’re stupid,’ is not something even his most severe critics usually say to President Barack Obama.
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Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino’s box.
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Catchphrases flourish in contemporary American English.
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The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.
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The best and brightest don’t go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs.
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Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.
P. J. O'ROURKE