I don’t even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I’ve never used a computer.
P. J. O'ROURKEI don’t even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I’ve never used a computer.
P. J. O'ROURKEPolitics is the attempt to achieve power and prestige without merit.
P. J. O'ROURKETo mistrust science and deny the validity of scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You’d better go look for work as a plant or wild animal.
P. J. O'ROURKEThey are just really stupid people in Hollywood. You write them a script, and they say they love it, they absolutely love it. Then they say, ‘But doesn’t it need a small dog, and an Eskimo, and shouldn’t it be set in New Guinea?’ And you say, ‘But it is a sophisticated romantic comedy set in Paris.’
P. J. O'ROURKEAs a former writer for the ‘National Lampoon,’ I’ve probably contributed to the sea of sarcasm in which we live.
P. J. O'ROURKELet’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools – and use it on the teachers.
P. J. O'ROURKEIf you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat – in other words, turn you into an adult.
P. J. O'ROURKEBill Clinton is not a hypocrite. If a man believes that it is just and moral to redistribute wealth, there is nothing hypocritical in his attempts to redistribute some of that wealth to himself.
P. J. O'ROURKEI was very much in favor of the Iraq invasion.
P. J. O'ROURKEThere is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees.
P. J. O'ROURKEBy the end of the 1950s, American cars were so reliable that their reliability went without saying even in car ads. Thousands of them bear testimony to this today, still running on the roads of Cuba though fueled with nationalized Venezuelan gasoline and maintained with spit and haywire.
P. J. O'ROURKEIf you ask the government to solve all of your problems, it’s a bit like asking your wife to cook and clean, to raise the children, to hold down a second job to help with the family finances, to keep her parents happy and well and keep your parents happy and well, and to also – to do the lawn and clean the gutters.
P. J. O'ROURKEWealth brings great benefits to the world. Rich people are heros.
P. J. O'ROURKECleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
P. J. O'ROURKEOnce you’ve built the big machinery of political power, remember you won’t always be the one to run it.
P. J. O'ROURKEThank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I’ve been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers.
P. J. O'ROURKE