Just because a subject is serious doesn’t mean it doesn’t have plenty of absurdities.
P. J. O'ROURKENobody is making Americans buy Chinese goods.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren’t present.
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Why do elites hate the poor? It’s xenophobia. They don’t know any poor people – except their off-the-books Brazilian nanny and illegal immigrant cleaning lady from Upper Revolta who don’t speak English.
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Sometimes the right response to evil is an appeal to powerful and effective social organization – an appeal to civilization itself.
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Woodstock had a tremendous impact on American artistic life.
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Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.
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Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.
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No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism.
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Preachers at black churches are the last people left in the English-speaking world who know the schemes and tropes of classical rhetoric: parallelism, antithesis, epistrophe, synecdoche, metonymy, periphrasis, litotes – the whole bag of tricks.
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There is only one thing that gives me hope as a Republican, and that is the Democrats. It’s going to be hard to do a worse job running American than the Republicans have, but if anybody can do it, it’s the Democrats.
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Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.
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Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters.
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Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
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If you think health care is expensive now, just wait ’til it’s free.
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I rarely meet a politician that I don’t like personally. They are generally well endowed with charm. Therein lies the danger.
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Computers seem a little too adaptively flexible, like the strange natives, odd societies, and head cases we study in the social sciences. There’s more opposable thumb in the digital world than I care for; it’s awfully close to human.
P. J. O'ROURKE