I’m too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom’s earring in his tongue, who combs his hair with Redi-Whip and has an Ani DiFranco tattoo on his shin, come show me how a computer works.
P. J. O'ROURKEAmerica has to act. But, when America acts, other nations accuse us of being ‘hegemonistic’, of engaging in ‘unilateralism’, of behaving as if we’re the only nation on earth that counts. We are.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Adam Smith’s huge failure was the fact that he did not foresee the industrial revolution.
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Every vote should carry a serial number, so that responsibility for harmful or careless use of the vote can be traced. Concealed voting should be outlawed.
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Ending wars is very simple if you surrender.
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Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I’m not even sure we can draw lessons from them.
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Just because a subject is serious doesn’t mean it doesn’t have plenty of absurdities.
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The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it.
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A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It’s a promissory note that doesn’t actually promise anything. It’s not backed by gold or silver.
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Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border.
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The budget doesn’t have much control over the government. Then again, the government doesn’t have much control over the budget.
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Nobody is making Americans buy Chinese goods.
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People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively.
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We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans.
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No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism.
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Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.
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If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat – in other words, turn you into an adult.
P. J. O'ROURKE






