There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees.
P. J. O'ROURKEI’ve got a 1990 Porsche 911. It’s just a Carrera, a very simple, straightforward little thing that goes like stink. I love it.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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The Afghans themselves say that if you put two Afghans in a room, you get three factions.
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Political leaders are expert at saying nothing.
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A humorist doesn’t really do that much note-taking.
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In its worse forms, conservatism is a matter of ‘I hate strangers and anything that’s different.’
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Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
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My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow… he wasn’t evil or anything, but he was worthless.
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Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
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Nobody is making Americans buy Chinese goods.
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The problem in Afghanistan is really not so much land as water. It’s a dry country with ample amounts of water running through it, but not to good enough effect.
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There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.
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Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.
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Everybody in the Middle East wants to explain why they’re right.
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No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it’s probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.
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I believe in God. God created the world.
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Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.
P. J. O'ROURKE