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If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

P. J. O'Rourke

Supposedly, summer vacation happens because that’s when the kids are home from school, although having the kids home from school is no vacation. And supposedly the kids are home from school because of some vestigial throwback to our agricultural past.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Done Endless Foreigner God Like Lousy Party Politics School Some Thing Wrong
Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren’t present.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Flatter Gossip Object Present
Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Bureaucracy Dispose Dump Government Propose
I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Carpenter Make Stop Terrible Thing Wood
Never fight an inanimate object.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Fight Inanimate never Object
If we heard that somebody starved to death in Sweden or Switzerland, we would be shocked.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Country Death Heard Shock Somebody Starved
Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Belt Cigarette Government Hazard Helth Kill Many More People Set
If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat – in other words, turn you into an adult.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Adult Deal Great Health Mind Other Slow Spoil Turn Word Young
Never wear anything that panics the cat.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Anything Cat never Panic Wear
The best and brightest don’t go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Best Bright Brightest Goldman Politics
When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Buy Control First Legislator Sell Sold
There is only one thing that gives me hope as a Republican, and that is the Democrats. It’s going to be hard to do a worse job running American than the Republicans have, but if anybody can do it, it’s the Democrats.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Democrat Great Hope Job One Republican Run Thing
I like fiction and the kind of history that gives the grace and flavor of fiction to the past. No bloviation on current events, please. I can write that junk myself.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Event Favour Fiction Grace History Kind Please Write
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ‘learning experience.’ Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a ‘learning experience.’ It makes me feel less stupid.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Again Anything Behaviour Done Experience Learn Sixties Stupid Think
Don’t send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Birthday Card Christmas Funeral Funny Greeting Need Save Send
The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Adept Avoid Even Learn More Young

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

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If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

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