Liberals have invented whole college majors – psychology, sociology and women’s studies – to prove that nothing is anybody’s fault.
P. J. O'ROURKEIf government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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It’s better to make fun of yourself because you’ve always got someone around to make fun of, and they can’t sue you.
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Richard Nixon was the best thing that ever happened to journalism. I mean this guy was wonderful. Just when you thought he could get no worse, he got worse.
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Stupid is a great force in human affairs.
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Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.
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The people who despise America are the editors of the ‘New Statesman.’ Their green-card applications must have been turned down.
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Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
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Finland is a rich country. What have they got? They got Nokia phones and plywood. How’d they get so rich? Because they’re free.
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There is a simple rule here, a rule of legislation, a rule of business, a rule of life: beyond a certain point, complexity is fraud. You can apply that rule to left-wing social programs, but you can also apply that rule to credit derivatives, hedge funds, all the rest of it.
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The body is forever teaching us lessons. There are all sorts of things that we can’t do, shouldn’t do, had better not do very often or do for too long as we get older. The body makes its presence known.
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The Afghans themselves say that if you put two Afghans in a room, you get three factions.
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Never fight an inanimate object.
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Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world.
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As a former writer for the ‘National Lampoon,’ I’ve probably contributed to the sea of sarcasm in which we live.
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Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
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Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
P. J. O'ROURKE






