“I’m a very simple man. You’ve got to have, like, a computer nowadays to turn the TV on and off… and the nightmare continues.”

I wish I didn’t have to perform ‘Iron Man’ every night.

I can’t do anything in moderation.

It’s all part of my journey – I’ve done a lot of stupid things, but you learn by your mistakes.

I have a genuine love affair with my audience. When I’m on stage they’re not privileged to see me. It’s a privilege for me to see them.

They say military have the so-called ‘secret intelligence’ – this amount of intelligence must be very secret, since I’ve never seen any intelligent military person, nor I have seen any sense in the bloody stupid wars.

I’ll only retire in the day I should be dead and they have me buried, and some idiot spell over my casket some stupid gospel stuff.

I have a saying. ‘Never judge a book by its cover’. I say that because I don’t even know who Ozzy is. I wake up a new person every day.

What is this? It’s music to get a brain seizure by.

MTV made a huge impact. Heavy rotation took you from selling 1m albums to 20m albums, and that meant a lot of dough.

I knew it was time to get off of reality TV when someone asked me if I sang as well as acted.

By all accounts I should be dead! The abuse I put my body through: the drugs, the alcohol, the lifestyle I’ve lived the last 30 years!

When you’re young, you’re stupid. You do silly things.

Somebody said to me this morning, ‘To what do you attribute your longevity?’ I don’t know. I mean, I couldn’t have planned my life out better.

What is the world coming to?

I’m about caring, I’m about people, and I’m about entertaining people. I’m a family man. A husband. A father.

I got rabies shots for biting the head off a bat but that’s OK – the bat had to get Ozzy shots.

I like computers. It’s the first time that I am endorsing a computer brand. I am very computer savvy, so this is certainly up my ally.

You run your life according to all this stuff that’s happened to you. All of your memories affect everything you do whereas with a computer, there’s adaptive software and things, but it’s more literal.

What’s your personal computer, anyways? Your personal computer should be something that’s always on your person.

I’m one of those weird people who doesn’t even own a computer.

I was kind of showing the art director a thing or two about how to use a Mac. And one day everyone went out to lunch and I jumped on the computer and designed a book jacket and slipped it in the pile to go to the review board in New York.

Nobody wanted to buy a computer in 1950, but once they got cheap, everyone bought them.

I just became one with my browser software.

Incorrect documentation is often worse than no documentation.