“I’m a very simple man. You’ve got to have, like, a computer nowadays to turn the TV on and off… and the nightmare continues.”

Somebody said to me this morning, ‘To what do you attribute your longevity?’ I don’t know. I mean, I couldn’t have planned my life out better.

What is the world coming to?

I’m about caring, I’m about people, and I’m about entertaining people. I’m a family man. A husband. A father.

I got rabies shots for biting the head off a bat but that’s OK – the bat had to get Ozzy shots.

Of all the things I’ve lost I miss my mind the most.

To be a liar, you’ve got to have a great memory, and I don’t have a memory.

Being sober on a bus is, like, totally different than being drunk on a bus.

I’ve been a lot of other things over the years, which we don’t really want to talk about.

L.A.’s not a good place to grow old.

Whenever I have a bad day I just think of these people.

You gotta be really careful what you bite off. Don’t bite off more than you can chew. It’s a dangerous world.

All that stuff about heavy metal and hard rock, I don’t subscribe to any of that. It’s all just music.

I mean, the heavy metal from the Seventies sounds nothing like the stuff from the Eighties, and that sounds nothing like the stuff from the Nineties. Who’s to say what is and isn’t a certain type of music?

I’m dyslexic, I have attention-deficit disorder, and I’ve got something like a hereditary tremor.

I used to fantasize that Paul McCartney would marry my sister.

Rock music is not meant to be perfect.