“Personally, I don’t like a girlfriend to have a husband. If she’ll fool her husband, I figure she’ll fool me.”

I’m not basically a happy person, but I have all kinds of joy.

Crooks aren’t the worst people, just the stupidest. The fleas of the world.

Create your own visual style. Let it be unique for yourself and yet identifiable for others.

At twenty-one, so many things appear solid, permanent, untenable.

If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.

I prefer people who rock the boat to people who jump out.

I hate women, hate them generally, not in particular but in an abstract way. I hate them because one never really learns anything about them. They are inscrutable.

Race hate isn’t human nature; race hate is the abandonment of human nature.

I don’t say we all ought to misbehave, but we ought to look as if we could.

I do not suppose I shall be remembered for anything. But I don’t think about my work in those terms. It is just as vulgar to work for the sake of posterity as to work for the sake of money.

Never expect justice in this world. That is not part of God’s plan. Everybody thinks that if they don’t get it, they’re some kind of odd man out. And it’s not true. Nobody gets justice – people just get good luck or bad luck.

A movie in production is the greatest train set a boy could ever have.

Friendship creates only the illusion of not being alone.

See, I believe that it is not true that different races and nations are alike. I’m profoundly convinced that that’s a total lie. I think people are different. Sardinians, for example, have stubby little fingers. Bosnians have short necks.

An artist is always out of step with the time. He has to be.

Criticism is the essence of creation.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, and watch me spark like a match tossed to tinder.

It is because of our foolishness that we forget who God is.

The most important thing in life is not simply to capitalize on your gains. Any fool can do that. The important thing is to profit from your losses. That requires intelligence, and makes the difference between a man of sense and a fool.

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most fools do. But it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.

The man of action is not the headstrong fool who rushes into danger with no thought for himself, but the man who puts into practice the things he knows.

Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.

Misfortunes cannot suffice to make a fool into an intelligent man.

April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.