“A squirrel attacked me. I got attacked by a squirrel in Battersea Park. They’re dangerous. It’s rare. I’ve torn most of the ligaments in my knee. So no football for me. It’s early retirement now. I’ve got a floating knee-cap!”

Sometimes, the girls hug all boys except me, and I just smile, but it hurts.

If it were legal, I’d marry food.

If I was in a horrorfilm I’d die first, because I would have no idea what’s going on.

The worst thing a girl could do on a date is fart louder than me.

Age is just a number. Who cares how old the girl is that I date?

Dreams do come true, believe always. I dreamt every night of becoming a singer

Everyone gets that second album syndrome.

We’re never going to escape the idea of being young. Which I don’t mind myself. I mean, who wants to grow up anyway?

I don’t want to live up to how people expect me to be.

Do you think anybody knows that I’m Irish?

I want to live forever! I want to learn how to fly high!

Fans always ask me to marry them so I’ll have a lot of wives.

I want to sell out arenas and make an album and work with some of the best artists in the world.

Changing is for weirdos.

Our band will never change , we will always be 5 singing idiots .

We cut up lemons on a chop board because they are good for our voices.

All the animals, the plants, the minerals, even other kinds of men, are being broken and reassembled every day, to preserve an elite few, who are the loudest to theorize on freedom, but the least free of all.

There is not in the universe a more ridiculous, nor a more contemptible animal, than a proud clergyman.

What is the Law of the Jungle? Strike first and then give tongue.

We are the storytelling animal.

My great forte in killing buffaloes was to get them circling by riding my horse at the head of the herd and shooting their leaders. Thus the brutes behind were crowded to the left, so that they were soon going round and round.

Thirst teaches all animals to drink, but drunkenness belongs only to man.

Be more than man, or thou’rt less than an ant.

I can say with sincerity that I like cats. A cat is an animal which has more human feelings than almost any other.