“Heck by the time a man scratches his behind, clears his throat, and tells me how smart he is, we’ve already wasted fifteen minutes.”

Republicans simply don’t know how to manage the economy.

When a person finds themselves predisposed to complaining about how little they are regarded by others, let them reflect how little they have contributed to the happiness of others.

There are no problems we cannot solve together, and very few that we can solve by ourselves.

Justice requires us to remember that when any citizen denies his fellow, saying, ‘His color is not mine,’ or ‘His beliefs are strange and different,’ in that moment he betrays America, though his forebears created this nation.

At the desk where I sit, I have learned one great truth. The answer for all our national problems – the answer for all the problems of the world – come to a single word. That word is “education.”

If we are to live together in peace, we must come to know each other better.

Democrats legislate; Republicans investigate.

We have talked long enough in this country about equal rights. It is time now to write the next chapter – and to write it in the books of law.

There is no issue of States’ rights or National rights. There is only the struggle for human rights.

Our understanding of how to live with one another is still far behind our knowledge of how to destroy one another.

I’ll have those n**gers voting Democratic for the next 200 years.

You know, doing what is right is easy. The problem is knowing what is right.

The guns and the bombs, the rockets and the warships, are all symbols of human failure.

I want real loyalty. I want someone who will kiss my ass in Macy’s window, and say it smells like roses.

The vote is the most powerful instrument ever devised by man for breaking down injustice and destroying the terrible walls which imprison men because they are different from other men.

Free speech, free press, free religion, the right of free assembly, yes, the right of petition. Well, they are still radical ideas.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety.

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.

I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.

I learnt very early in life that whenever there is a choice between peace of mind and piece of ass, go for the former.