“People who eat with their mouth open should be punched in the face.”

The two things in the world we all share in this world are laughter and pain. We’ve all got problems. The levels of those problems vary, but we’ve all got problems.

I don’t take pictures when I’m with my kids, for the sake of my kids. It’s important when you’re as busy as I am that you give your kids your time when you’re with them, and nothing compromises that. I’ve been lucky enough to have fans that understand that.

I don’t care how busy I am – I will always make time for what’s most important to me.

People like to hear the word ‘love.’

I am an angel. I was sent here from God to heal.

When you can take things that are painful and make them funny, that’s a gift – to you and your audience.

The only way to learn is for it not to get a laugh, so you can adjust it and come back the next day to see if it’s working right. Next time, you might get a different laugh. You’re constantly rebuilding.

When you’re coming up with new material, it’s not always gonna be good.

People who win go outside of that box. It’s very simple when you look at it.

Success isn’t supposed to happen, no matter how hard you work. There’s no guarantee you’re going to succeed. There’s nothing set in stone.

I love to pop up at the movie theaters. I love to treat the people who are there.

You get one life. I’m going to embrace mine.

I don’t think comedy will ever die.

I understand that being able to appeal to the public and having an amazing sense of humour is not something that comes easy. It’s definitely a gift and for which I’m thankful.

A lot of blood, sweat, and tears have gone into this career of mine.

Stand-up can take you in so many different places, man.

He was a staffer at Punch but in the evening he wrote columns for the Evening Standard and The Times.

I have thought about punching people out. Sometimes, I’ve thought, ‘Why don’t I just act on that impulse?’ But then, I’ve never hit anybody in anger. Hey! I’ve never hit anybody for fun.

” Let me take two shots in the arm and a punch on the nose and let me get on to the next thing.

The knock-out punch is always the one you never see coming.

Go in quickly – Punch Hard – Get out!

We punch mirrors and we explore our darker selves. No, it’s just an amalgam of all newscasters that we grew up with. Sort of like before there was cable, when these people were like gods.

The authors pull no punches on the likelihood of increasing tensions and conflicts in a climatically constrained world and spotlight places where possible conflicts may flare up in the 21st century unless climate change is checked.

My existence is about making movies, so I’ve just got to rock and roll with the punches.