If I want a long, boring story with no point to it, I have my life.
JERRY SEINFELDThere are more social skills required to talk one-on-one [than to an audience]. You don’t have to be socially fluid to talk to two thousand people.
More Jerry Seinfeld Quotes
-
-
You know the message you’re sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You’re telling the world, ‘I give up. I can’t compete in normal society. I’m miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.
JERRY SEINFELD -
I’ve been car crazy my whole life, since I was nine years old. It’s just something I’m very aware of.
JERRY SEINFELD -
Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets.
JERRY SEINFELD -
I didn’t know every day I would be discussing the tone of my voice with my wife. I thought it was a marriage. Apparently, it’s a musical.
JERRY SEINFELD -
[I like to] engage with funny people, or weird people, or, you know, kind of off people. [Whereas when I meet] anybody who’s … normal … I’m not curious, I’m not interested.
JERRY SEINFELD -
Most people, you do a TV series, it ends three, four, five years later; it’s a relic.
JERRY SEINFELD -
There are more social skills required to talk one-on-one [than to an audience]. You don’t have to be socially fluid to talk to two thousand people.
JERRY SEINFELD -
I was the best man at the wedding… If I’m the best man, why is she marrying him?
JERRY SEINFELD -
I always did well on the essay questions. Just put everything you know on there, maybe you’ll hit it.
JERRY SEINFELD -
The best revenge is living well.
JERRY SEINFELD -
Once you start doing only what you’ve already proven you can do, you’re on the road to death.
JERRY SEINFELD -
Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.
JERRY SEINFELD -
I love how you just make coffee and then somehow something gets done.
JERRY SEINFELD -
Magazines are another medium I love, because 95% is simply based on ‘How the hell are we going to fill all this blank space?
JERRY SEINFELD -
The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it’s so much fun.
JERRY SEINFELD