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I always did well on the essay questions. Just put everything you know on there, maybe you’ll hit it.

Jerry Seinfeld

I’ve been car crazy my whole life, since I was nine years old. It’s just something I’m very aware of.
JERRY SEINFELD

Car Crazy Years
There are more social skills required to talk one-on-one [than to an audience]. You don’t have to be socially fluid to talk to two thousand people.
JERRY SEINFELD

People Skill Socially Two
Magazines are another medium I love, because 95% is simply based on ‘How the hell are we going to fill all this blank space?
JERRY SEINFELD

Love Magazines Medium Space
I always did well on the essay questions. Just put everything you know on there, maybe you’ll hit it.
JERRY SEINFELD

Essay Everything Know Well
There’s more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.
JERRY SEINFELD

Life More Obvious Shallow
When you’ve been in the business 5-years, as a person, it’s like you’re 5-years old – like a child. 10-years and you’re 10-years old, 20… Etcetera. That’s how I measure maturity in this industry.
JERRY SEINFELD

Child Children Maturity Old Year
The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it’s so much fun.
JERRY SEINFELD

Friends Fun Laughter Stranger
The toughest nights when I was a young, unknown comedian were opening for these real old-time Italian singers. I’m like Grace Jones to them. “This guy is nuts-talking about socks. Where’s the wife jokes, where’s the fat jokes?”
JERRY SEINFELD

Comedian Funny Night Real
Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.
JERRY SEINFELD

Compare Need Smart Wise
Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there’s no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.
JERRY SEINFELD

Funny Humorous Music
What I don’t understand is how women can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scared of spiders.
JERRY SEINFELD

Body Funny Inspirational Motivational Wax
This is one of my big things of creative pursuits. You have your idea you want to do, but then you got to figure out what does this thing want to be? You got to let it lead you a little.
JERRY SEINFELD

Creative Idea Pursuit Want
[I like to] engage with funny people, or weird people, or, you know, kind of off people. [Whereas when I meet] anybody who’s … normal … I’m not curious, I’m not interested.
JERRY SEINFELD

Engage Kind Normal People
I didn’t know every day I would be discussing the tone of my voice with my wife. I thought it was a marriage. Apparently, it’s a musical.
JERRY SEINFELD

Funny Marriage Voice Wife
See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don’t know how to hold the reservation and that’s really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.
JERRY SEINFELD

Important Know Reservation Reservations
If I want a long, boring story with no point to it, I have my life.
JERRY SEINFELD

Bore Long Need Stories

I always did well on the essay questions. Just put everything you know on there, maybe you’ll hit it.

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I always did well on the essay questions. Just put everything you know on there, maybe you’ll hit it.

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Popular Authors

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