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Once you start doing only what you’ve already proven you can do, you’re on the road to death.

Jerry Seinfeld

I was the best man at the wedding… If I’m the best man, why is she marrying him?
JERRY SEINFELD

Goal Life Marry Men New Wedding
Most people, you do a TV series, it ends three, four, five years later; it’s a relic.
JERRY SEINFELD

People Series Television Year
What I don’t understand is how women can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scared of spiders.
JERRY SEINFELD

Body Funny Inspirational Motivational Wax
Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you’re comfortable with.
JERRY SEINFELD

Bless Life Torture
If I want a long, boring story with no point to it, I have my life.
JERRY SEINFELD

Bore Long Need Stories
Pain is usually represented by lightning attacking the guy. Glowing redness is also popular. Sometimes parts of the guy would just burst into flames.
JERRY SEINFELD

Flame Glowing Pain Popular Something
That’s why breakups take two or three times- to build up immunity.
JERRY SEINFELD

Breakup Build Immunity Three Two
Surveys show that the #1 fear of Americans is public speaking. #2 is death. That means that at a funeral, the average American would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.
JERRY SEINFELD

Average Country Funeral Mean People
[I like to] engage with funny people, or weird people, or, you know, kind of off people. [Whereas when I meet] anybody who’s … normal … I’m not curious, I’m not interested.
JERRY SEINFELD

Engage Kind Normal People
Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets.
JERRY SEINFELD

Amazing Broke Dog Funny Inspire
Magazines are another medium I love, because 95% is simply based on ‘How the hell are we going to fill all this blank space?
JERRY SEINFELD

Love Magazines Medium Space
There are more social skills required to talk one-on-one [than to an audience]. You don’t have to be socially fluid to talk to two thousand people.
JERRY SEINFELD

People Skill Socially Two
The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it’s so much fun.
JERRY SEINFELD

Friends Fun Laughter Stranger
There’s more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.
JERRY SEINFELD

Life More Obvious Shallow
I didn’t know every day I would be discussing the tone of my voice with my wife. I thought it was a marriage. Apparently, it’s a musical.
JERRY SEINFELD

Funny Marriage Voice Wife
I love how you just make coffee and then somehow something gets done.
JERRY SEINFELD

Coffee Emotion Make Somehow

Once you start doing only what you’ve already proven you can do, you’re on the road to death.

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Once you start doing only what you’ve already proven you can do, you’re on the road to death.

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Popular Authors

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