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The amount of truth a relationship can handle is proportional to the amount of perceived love that’s present.

Henry Cloud

The mature person meets the demands of life, while the immature person demands that life meet her demands.
HENRY CLOUD

Demand Life Mature Person
Some goals are not going to fulfill you. Choose goals that you value and care about.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
A good test of a relationship is how a person responds to the word ‘no.’ Love respects ‘no,’ control does not.
HENRY CLOUD

Control Goodness Person Reaction Relationship Respond Test
Boundaries are basically about providing structure, and structure is essential in building anything that thrives.
HENRY CLOUD

Boundary Essential Structure Thrive
The extent to which two people in a relationship can bring up and resolve issues is a critical marker of the soundness of a relationship.
HENRY CLOUD

Criticism Issues People Relationship Sound
The sad thing is that many of us come to Christ because we are sinners, and then spend the rest of our lives trying to pretend that we are not!
HENRY CLOUD

Live Ourselves Pretend Sadness Sin
Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
In the end, as a leader, you are always going to get a combination of two things: what you create and what you allow.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
Things don’t change in a marriage until the spouse who is taking responsibility for a problem that is not hers decides to say or do something about it.
HENRY CLOUD

Change Decision Marriage Responsibility
Marriage is not slavery. It is based on a love relationship deeply rooted in freedom. Each partner is free from the other and therefore free to love the other. Where there is control, or perception of control, there is not love. Love only exists where there is freedom.
HENRY CLOUD

Control Freedom Love Marriage Partner Relationship Slave
Be Hard on the issue, Soft on the person.
HENRY CLOUD

Issues Person Problem Relationship Soft
Leadership is not taken, it is given. People give leadership to those that they trust. They allow people that they trust to have influence over their lives.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
Confronting an irresponsible person is not painful to him; only consequences are.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
Endings are a part of life, and we are actually wired to execute them. But because of trauma, developmental failures, and other reasons, we shy away from the steps that could open up whole new worlds of development and growth.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
The business of church is ultimately people. You’re trying to heal people, grow people, teach people, and mend people. And when leaders spend all of their time helping and growing other people, they ignore their own growth.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
For someone’s character to grow, it has to be free from internal attack. Falling down never stopped children from developing. But getting yelled at, criticized, and put down can stop them for life.
HENRY CLOUD

Character Children Criticism Freedom Growth Life Stop

The amount of truth a relationship can handle is proportional to the amount of perceived love that’s present.

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The amount of truth a relationship can handle is proportional to the amount of perceived love that’s present.

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