black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I put a basketball in front of George Clooney’s door and sprayed it with supermodel perfume to lure him out.

Ellen DeGeneres

Procrastination isn’t the problem. It’s the solution. It’s the universe’s way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Moving Procrastination Way
I’ve learned 2 things about tv. It’s always easier with vodka & SOME OF THE BEST SINGERS ARE FROM THE PHILIPPINES
ELLEN DEGENERES

Humor Philippines Singers Television
So, I bought a new CD and I was trying to get it open but couldn’t with all the layers… I mean plastic and then tape, and the tape is like government tape. It says ‘open here.’ Is that sarcasm?
ELLEN DEGENERES

Government Mean Sarcasm
I don’t want to get the same looks I give people when they get on a plane holding a baby: “That’s a cute baby, just keep walking, keep walking, keep going, keep going.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Baby Cute Funny
We’re just trying to find happiness in the bodies and minds we were given, like everyone else.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Finding Happiness Mind Trying
Penguins mate for life. Which doesn’t really surprise me, because they all look exactly alike. It’s not like they’re gonna meet a better-looking penguin someday.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Looks Penguins Surprise
I like to try new things because I get bored so easily.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Bored New Things Trying
Most people don’t get to laugh, be free, dance, be surrounded by this energy. It’s important to remind people to take that home. I want the world to start shifting [to] a more positive energy.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Home Important Laughing People
I’m on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, and then I’m gonna rip it off.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Humor Rip
You just have to keep driving down the road. It’s going to bend and curve and you’ll speed up and slow down, but the road keeps going.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Curves Down Driving Road Speed
There’s nothing I know for sure, because I know for sure that things change.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Knows Things Change
This is my real secret to being a joyful person: I make my life easy. I spend more time being grateful for what I have instead of focusing on what isn’t working. I no longer believe that people have to do things my way and that I have to be perfect.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Believe Grateful Real
Emote. It’s okay. It shows you are thinking and feeling.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Feelings Okay Thinking
I didn’t go to college at all, any college, and I’m not saying you wasted your time or money, but look at me, I’m a huge celebrity.
ELLEN DEGENERES

College Funny Humor
It feels good. Kinda like when you have to shut your computer down, just sometimes when it goes crazy, you just shut it down and when you turn it on, it’s okay again. That’s what meditation is to me.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Crazy Inspiration Meditation Practice
What’s New Orleans without music? And what’s music without dancing?
ELLEN DEGENERES

Dancing Music New Orleans Without

I put a basketball in front of George Clooney’s door and sprayed it with supermodel perfume to lure him out.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

I put a basketball in front of George Clooney’s door and sprayed it with supermodel perfume to lure him out.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Ellen DeGeneres Quotes