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I would rather be the good aunt who never says anything bad and lets the parents discipline the child.

Ellen DeGeneres

Dan: ‘Ah, well, I hope this didn’t have anything to do with me.’ Ellen: ‘No, not unless you played Cat Woman in Batman.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Batman Cat Well Woman
Some of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most
ELLEN DEGENERES

Devasting Happens Most Teach
So, I bought a new CD and I was trying to get it open but couldn’t with all the layers… I mean plastic and then tape, and the tape is like government tape. It says ‘open here.’ Is that sarcasm?
ELLEN DEGENERES

Government Mean Sarcasm
If someone ever says you’re weird, say thank you.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Saying Thank Weird
I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Day Enjoy Growing Mistake
We went to lunch and were talking about procrastination and the waitress overheard us and she said, ‘I have a problem with procrastination, too.’ I said ‘Really?… Get my sandwich.’
ELLEN DEGENERES

Lunch Procrastination Talking
The way I see it… If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you’re doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Brain Funny Hands Humor
I prefer to believe that people are good and honest and respect me enough to tell me the truth. It’s not easy to find those people all the time, but they’re out there.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Believe Honest People
I think I let go of the need for approval. It certainly feels good when you get it, but I used to be more desperate for it. Once I felt better inside about myself… I could do everything based on how I want to do things.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Go Humor Letting
Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Life Procrastination
I don’t really ever live my life in fear. I really live my life in gratitude and feeling positive for the most part.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Feelings Gratitude Life Living
One rough patch is not the big picture.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Patch Picture Rough
I’ve learned 2 things about tv. It’s always easier with vodka & SOME OF THE BEST SINGERS ARE FROM THE PHILIPPINES
ELLEN DEGENERES

Humor Philippines Singers Television
People give me such a hard time because I don’t wear dresses. What’s that got to do with anything?
ELLEN DEGENERES

Giving Hard People Times
You can always tell when the relationship is over. Little things start getting on your nerves, ‘Would you please stop that! That breathing in and out, it’s so repetitious.’
ELLEN DEGENERES

Breathing Funny Relationship Nerves
A circus! 100 clowns of injustice have climbed out of the tiny clown car of this court room.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Car Room Rooms Tiny

I would rather be the good aunt who never says anything bad and lets the parents discipline the child.

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I would rather be the good aunt who never says anything bad and lets the parents discipline the child.

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