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I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He’s the mayor of some small town in Texas. I could be the mayor’s wife right now.

Ellen DeGeneres

You can always tell when the relationship is over. Little things start getting on your nerves, ‘Would you please stop that! That breathing in and out, it’s so repetitious.’
ELLEN DEGENERES

Breathing Funny Relationship Nerves
We’re told to go on living our lives as usual, because to do otherwise is to let the terrorists win, and really, what would upset the Taliban more than a gay woman wearing a suit in front of a room full of Jews?
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Gay Humor Otherwise Really
In the 80’s we had high, high, waisted pants, that if they came up any higher they’d have to go up another size, if you know what I mean.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Know Mean Pants Size
So be who you really are. Embrace who you are. Literally. Hug yourself. Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Hug Killers Serial Killer
My hair is always at its best in New York. I don’t know what’s in the water. It could be mousse.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Country Hair People Water
One rough patch is not the big picture.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Patch Picture Rough
I never see the glass half empty because I drink out the bottle
ELLEN DEGENERES

Bottles Glasses Half
I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He’s the mayor of some small town in Texas. I could be the mayor’s wife right now.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Men School Texas
I used to beat myself up about weight and working out, and no matter what I did I never felt good about myself. I decided to accept myself and know that I am good.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Matter Out Weight Work
Be open to learning new lessons, even if they contradict the lessons you learned yesterday.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Inspirational Lessons Yesterday
Yeah I’m thirty-six, but on the show I’m thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Fake People Reality Years
No one is perfect, except for Penélope Cruz.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Cruz Pens Perfect
There’s always time to do things that you’re passionate about. … If my name helps get something out there that I believe in then I am going to produce it. … Design is really my true love.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Believe Design Names Something
Penguins mate for life. Which doesn’t really surprise me, because they all look exactly alike. It’s not like they’re gonna meet a better-looking penguin someday.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Looks Penguins Surprise
I think gender plays a part in most things, but I don’t know how it would be different because I’ve never been a man. And my fame is different from Nicole Kidman’s or Sharon Stone’s. I think everybody’s fame is different.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Men Play Thinking
I learned compassion from being discriminated against. Everything bad that’s ever happened to me has taught me compassion.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Compassion Inspiring Strong Women

I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He’s the mayor of some small town in Texas. I could be the mayor’s wife right now.

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Popular Authors

I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He’s the mayor of some small town in Texas. I could be the mayor’s wife right now.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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