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I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He’s the mayor of some small town in Texas. I could be the mayor’s wife right now.

Ellen DeGeneres

Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I’ve been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I’m happy I could give him work.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Giving Humor
We’re told to go on living our lives as usual, because to do otherwise is to let the terrorists win, and really, what would upset the Taliban more than a gay woman wearing a suit in front of a room full of Jews?
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Gay Humor Otherwise Really
True beauty is not related to what color your hair is or what color your eyes are. True beauty is about who you are as a human being, your principles, your moral compass.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Eye Hair Inspiring Related Women
It would be horrible to live with someone who didn’t like the same things you like.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Horrible Like Things
I don’t consider myself an interviewer as much as an entertainer.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Consider Entertainers Interviewer Much
No one is perfect, except for Penélope Cruz.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Cruz Pens Perfect
There would be nothing to get me to run for president. I don’t even understand how anyone would want that job at all. Although I would be able to play golf which I don’t seem to have time now.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Anymore Golf Jobs Running Understand
My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you’re kidding?… Noooo… as funny as that is, I’m not
ELLEN DEGENERES

Dog Funny Humor
Why is it that when you wipe up dust its called dusting but when you wipe up a spill its not called spilling? Just something to think about.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Called Dust Something Thinking Wipe
I don’t need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I’m going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old-fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Baby Funny Humor
I think gender plays a part in most things, but I don’t know how it would be different because I’ve never been a man. And my fame is different from Nicole Kidman’s or Sharon Stone’s. I think everybody’s fame is different.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Men Play Thinking
Sometimes you can’t see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Eye Inspirational Inspiring
Above all things physical, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside – to have a big hear and an open mind and a spectacular spleen.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Attitude Beautiful Beauty Inner
I just want to find somebody special, somebody that I click with.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Clicks Somebody Special Want
We all feel like idiots at one time or another. Even if we feel we’re cool 98 percent of the time, that 2-percent doofus is poised to take over our bodies without any warning.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Ironic Mistake Warning
I wanted to have money; I wanted to be special; I wanted people to like me; I wanted to be famous.
ELLEN DEGENERES

People Special Wanted

I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He’s the mayor of some small town in Texas. I could be the mayor’s wife right now.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He’s the mayor of some small town in Texas. I could be the mayor’s wife right now.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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