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The way I see it… If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you’re doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.

Ellen DeGeneres

I just want to find somebody special, somebody that I click with.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Clicks Somebody Special Want
Dan: ‘Ah, well, I hope this didn’t have anything to do with me.’ Ellen: ‘No, not unless you played Cat Woman in Batman.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Batman Cat Well Woman
People give me such a hard time because I don’t wear dresses. What’s that got to do with anything?
ELLEN DEGENERES

Giving Hard People Times
We all feel like idiots at one time or another. Even if we feel we’re cool 98 percent of the time, that 2-percent doofus is poised to take over our bodies without any warning.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Ironic Mistake Warning
Portia and I have been married for 4 years and they have been the happiest of my life. And in those 4 years, I don’t think we hurt anyone else’s marriage. I asked all of my neighbors and they say they’re fine
ELLEN DEGENERES

Gay Happiest Hurt Thinking
I like sitting at outdoor restaurants; it would be nice to go someplace on the street and not worry about somebody taking my picture while I’m about to take a bite of something.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Nice Pictures Somebody Worry
Penguins mate for life. Which doesn’t really surprise me, because they all look exactly alike. It’s not like they’re gonna meet a better-looking penguin someday.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Looks Penguins Surprise
True beauty is not related to what color your hair is or what color your eyes are. True beauty is about who you are as a human being, your principles, your moral compass.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Eye Hair Inspiring Related Women
There’s nothing I know for sure, because I know for sure that things change.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Knows Things Change
I have an amazing team, I have amazing producers, I have amazing writers, but at the end of it, it’s me making the decisions on the writing, the tone, the editing.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Decision Editing Team Writing
Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I’ve been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I’m happy I could give him work.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Giving Humor
Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Party Streamers Wall
A circus! 100 clowns of injustice have climbed out of the tiny clown car of this court room.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Car Room Rooms Tiny
I’m so unfamiliar with the gym, I call it James!
ELLEN DEGENERES

Fitness Gym Health
Some of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most
ELLEN DEGENERES

Devasting Happens Most Teach
If you want to get rid of stuff, you can always do a good spring-cleaning. Or you can do what I do. Move.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Moving Spring Want

The way I see it… If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you’re doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.

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The way I see it… If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you’re doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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