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The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren’t any space aliens. We can’t be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we’re not all there is. If so, we’re in big trouble.

Ellen DeGeneres

Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Life Procrastination
It’s funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Cucumbers Juice Source Water
Above all things physical, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside – to have a big hear and an open mind and a spectacular spleen.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Attitude Beautiful Beauty Inner
I don’t need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I’m going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old-fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Baby Funny Humor
We’re just trying to find happiness in the bodies and minds we were given, like everyone else.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Finding Happiness Mind Trying
I don’t consider myself an interviewer as much as an entertainer.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Consider Entertainers Interviewer Much
You know, it’s hard work to write a book. I can’t tell you how many times I really get going on an idea, then my quill breaks. Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Book Hard Women Work
I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Day Enjoy Growing Mistake
When there’s time for whistling, there’s a lot of time on a show.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Humor Whistling
I love furniture. And I thought, why are we not seeing who’s making the cool new coffee table and these new designs that come out?
ELLEN DEGENERES

Coffee Design Tables
I never see the glass half empty because I drink out the bottle
ELLEN DEGENERES

Bottles Glasses Half
I’m a lesbian, an Aquarian, and a vegetarian.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Lesbian People Vegetarian
The world is filled with negativity. I want people to watch me and think, “I feel good, and I’m going to make somebody else feel good today.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Feel Good People Thinking
It is a fundamental right for people to be allowed to love who they want to love and marry who they want to marry and stop holding on to some form of discrimination that it’s just isn’t fair.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Fundamentals People Want
Penguins mate for life. Which doesn’t really surprise me, because they all look exactly alike. It’s not like they’re gonna meet a better-looking penguin someday.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Looks Penguins Surprise
I’m on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, and then I’m gonna rip it off.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Humor Rip

The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren’t any space aliens. We can’t be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we’re not all there is. If so, we’re in big trouble.

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Popular Authors

The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren’t any space aliens. We can’t be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we’re not all there is. If so, we’re in big trouble.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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