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The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren’t any space aliens. We can’t be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we’re not all there is. If so, we’re in big trouble.

Ellen DeGeneres

Be open to learning new lessons, even if they contradict the lessons you learned yesterday.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Inspirational Lessons Yesterday
Most people don’t get to laugh, be free, dance, be surrounded by this energy. It’s important to remind people to take that home. I want the world to start shifting [to] a more positive energy.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Home Important Laughing People
If someone ever says you’re weird, say thank you.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Saying Thank Weird
Yeah I’m thirty-six, but on the show I’m thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Fake People Reality Years
I don’t really ever live my life in fear. I really live my life in gratitude and feeling positive for the most part.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Feelings Gratitude Life Living
We went to lunch and were talking about procrastination and the waitress overheard us and she said, ‘I have a problem with procrastination, too.’ I said ‘Really?… Get my sandwich.’
ELLEN DEGENERES

Lunch Procrastination Talking
Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I’ve been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I’m happy I could give him work.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Giving Humor
I’ve learned 2 things about tv. It’s always easier with vodka & SOME OF THE BEST SINGERS ARE FROM THE PHILIPPINES
ELLEN DEGENERES

Humor Philippines Singers Television
Be kind to one another. Bye, bye.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Another Bye Kind People
My name is Ellen and I’m a vegetarian. Just to add another label to me: I am a lesbian, aquarian and vegetarian. I’ve said it.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Add Labels Names
I don’t need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I’m going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old-fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Baby Funny Humor
I know that every time I list something that I am, I am potentially alienating a whole group of people. Publicists and managers will encourage you not to say what political party you belong to, what you eat, what you don’t eat, who you sleep with and all that stuff.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Party People Sleep
I like to try new things because I get bored so easily.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Bored New Things Trying
So, I bought a new CD and I was trying to get it open but couldn’t with all the layers… I mean plastic and then tape, and the tape is like government tape. It says ‘open here.’ Is that sarcasm?
ELLEN DEGENERES

Government Mean Sarcasm
We all feel like idiots at one time or another. Even if we feel we’re cool 98 percent of the time, that 2-percent doofus is poised to take over our bodies without any warning.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Ironic Mistake Warning
Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Party Streamers Wall

The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren’t any space aliens. We can’t be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we’re not all there is. If so, we’re in big trouble.

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The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren’t any space aliens. We can’t be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we’re not all there is. If so, we’re in big trouble.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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