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I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres.

Ellen DeGeneres

I’m sure there’s somebody out there who doesn’t like Betty White because she’s short and has white hair.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Hair Somebody White
Some of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most
ELLEN DEGENERES

Devasting Happens Most Teach
One rough patch is not the big picture.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Patch Picture Rough
I don’t want to get the same looks I give people when they get on a plane holding a baby: “That’s a cute baby, just keep walking, keep walking, keep going, keep going.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Baby Cute Funny
Emote. It’s okay. It shows you are thinking and feeling.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Feelings Okay Thinking
Above all things physical, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside – to have a big hear and an open mind and a spectacular spleen.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Attitude Beautiful Beauty Inner
Procrastination isn’t the problem. It’s the solution. It’s the universe’s way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Moving Procrastination Way
When there’s time for whistling, there’s a lot of time on a show.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Humor Whistling
If we lose our phones, we lose our phone books. You don’t memorize numbers anymore.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Book Numbers Phones
There’s always time to do things that you’re passionate about. … If my name helps get something out there that I believe in then I am going to produce it. … Design is really my true love.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Believe Design Names Something
I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot. I’ve started a record label, so I get to nurture new talent and talk about music, which is a passion of mine. I’ve written another book. And I get to come to work and do the TV show, which is always really fun.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Book Fun Passion Talk
I know that experts say you’re more likely to get hurt crossing the street than you are flying, but that doesn’t make me any less frightened of flying. If anything, it makes me more afraid of crossing the street.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Experts Flying Frightened Hurt Less
I don’t pay attention to the number of birthdays. It’s weird when I say I’m 53. It just is crazy that I’m 53. I think I’m very immature. I feel like a kid. That’s why my back goes out all the time, because I completely forget I can’t do certain things anymore – like doing the plank for 10 minutes.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Birthday Crazy Happy Kids
Quick decision makers are often stuck behind annoying people in line at Starbucks.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Decision Lines People
The way I see it… If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you’re doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Brain Funny Hands Humor
I love furniture. And I thought, why are we not seeing who’s making the cool new coffee table and these new designs that come out?
ELLEN DEGENERES

Coffee Design Tables

I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres.

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I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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