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I cannot imagine not going home to animals. They are the closest thing to God. They don’t harbour resentment.

Ellen DeGeneres

I think gender plays a part in most things, but I don’t know how it would be different because I’ve never been a man. And my fame is different from Nicole Kidman’s or Sharon Stone’s. I think everybody’s fame is different.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Men Play Thinking
What’s New Orleans without music? And what’s music without dancing?
ELLEN DEGENERES

Dancing Music New Orleans Without
Beauty isn’t between a size zero and a size eight, it is not a number at all. It is not physical.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Eight Numbers Physical Zero
I cannot imagine not going home to animals. They are the closest thing to God. They don’t harbour resentment.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Animal Home Pet Resentment
I never see the glass half empty because I drink out the bottle
ELLEN DEGENERES

Bottles Glasses Half
Dan: ‘Ah, well, I hope this didn’t have anything to do with me.’ Ellen: ‘No, not unless you played Cat Woman in Batman.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Batman Cat Well Woman
I like being busy and juggling a lot of things at the same time. I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Bored Busy Needs Thing
Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I’ve been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I’m happy I could give him work.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Giving Humor
My hair is always at its best in New York. I don’t know what’s in the water. It could be mousse.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Country Hair People Water
Above all, I strive to be the best I can – to be better than I was yesterday and better tomorrow.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Being Best Tomorrow Yesterday
Penguins mate for life. Which doesn’t really surprise me, because they all look exactly alike. It’s not like they’re gonna meet a better-looking penguin someday.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Looks Penguins Surprise
I’m a lesbian, an Aquarian, and a vegetarian.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Lesbian People Vegetarian
I’m on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, and then I’m gonna rip it off.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Humor Rip
I know that every time I list something that I am, I am potentially alienating a whole group of people. Publicists and managers will encourage you not to say what political party you belong to, what you eat, what you don’t eat, who you sleep with and all that stuff.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Party People Sleep
Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Party Streamers Wall
Usually, I wear tennis shoes because my feet are flat, and it hurts to wear anything other than shoes that are cushiony.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Feet Hurt Shoes

I cannot imagine not going home to animals. They are the closest thing to God. They don’t harbour resentment.

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I cannot imagine not going home to animals. They are the closest thing to God. They don’t harbour resentment.

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