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We went to lunch and were talking about procrastination and the waitress overheard us and she said, ‘I have a problem with procrastination, too.’ I said ‘Really?… Get my sandwich.’

Ellen DeGeneres

The world is filled with negativity. I want people to watch me and think, “I feel good, and I’m going to make somebody else feel good today.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Feel Good People Thinking
What’s New Orleans without music? And what’s music without dancing?
ELLEN DEGENERES

Dancing Music New Orleans Without
When people show me clothing that seems very, very feminine, it’s hard for me to embrace that, because it just doesn’t feel like me.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Embrace Feel Feminine People
I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Day Enjoy Growing Mistake
I like to try new things because I get bored so easily.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Bored New Things Trying
I have an amazing team, I have amazing producers, I have amazing writers, but at the end of it, it’s me making the decisions on the writing, the tone, the editing.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Decision Editing Team Writing
Beauty is not between a size 0 and a size 8. It’s not a number at all.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Beauty Between Numbers Size
So excited for the Apple Watch. For centuries, we’ve checked the time by looking at our phones. Having it on your wrist? Genius.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Phone Reality Technology
I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Asparagus Funny Humor
I care passionately about equal rights [and] animal rights.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Animal Care Rights
If someone ever says you’re weird, say thank you.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Saying Thank Weird
A circus! 100 clowns of injustice have climbed out of the tiny clown car of this court room.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Car Room Rooms Tiny
Please raise your children with love and non-judgement. Tell them everyone has the right to love who they want to love. It shouldn’t threaten you or who you are.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Children Judgement Want
I just like observing people – it’s something I’ve done ever since I was a kid, and I got really good at it. That’s a big part of why I became a comedian. My audience is filled with every kind of person you can imagine, and I love that.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Comedians Kids People
No one is perfect, except for Penélope Cruz.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Cruz Pens Perfect
Have you seen the deer heads on the walls of bars, the ones wearing party hats, sunglasses and streamers? I feel sorry for them because obviously they were at a party having a good time.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Party Sorry Wall

We went to lunch and were talking about procrastination and the waitress overheard us and she said, ‘I have a problem with procrastination, too.’ I said ‘Really?… Get my sandwich.’

Related Topics

Popular Authors

We went to lunch and were talking about procrastination and the waitress overheard us and she said, ‘I have a problem with procrastination, too.’ I said ‘Really?… Get my sandwich.’

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Ellen DeGeneres Quotes