I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.
DICK GREGORYIf democracy is such a good thing, let’s have more of it.
More Dick Gregory Quotes
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When I go through the airport and see white women walking through the airport barefooted, like athlete’s feet don’t exist, there’s something wrong.
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Makes you wonder. When I left St. Louis, I was making five dollars a night. Now I’m getting $5,000 a week — for saying the same things out loud I used to say under my breath.
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Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.
DICK GREGORY -
You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We’re the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.
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I used to get letters saying, ‘I didn’t know black children and white children were the same.’
DICK GREGORY -
Every door of racial prejudice I can kick down, is one less door that my children have to kick down.
DICK GREGORY -
It was an unwritten law that black comics were not permitted to work white nightclubs. You could sing and you could dance, but you couldn’t stand flat-footed and talk; that was a no-no.
DICK GREGORY -
Being white is a job in America. You take that away, you better get the soldiers out.
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I tell people, ‘If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.’
DICK GREGORY -
When you’ve got something really good, you don’t have to force it on people. They will steal it!
DICK GREGORY -
I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp – just think about all those white bigots, licking the backside of a black man.
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One of the things I keep learning is that the secret of being happy is doing things for other people.
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We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry because we didn’t think it was fair in the history books that when the cavalry won it was a great victory, and when the Indians won it was a massacre.
DICK GREGORY -
Coconut milk is the only thing on this planet that comes identically to mother’s milk.
DICK GREGORY -
When I was a boy, I was taught never to use insulting expressions like, ‘I’ve been gypped,’ or, ‘He welshed on the deal.’
DICK GREGORY