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If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol, and caffeine off the market for six days, they’d have to bring out the tanks to control you.

Dick Gregory

Home was a place to be only when all other places were closed.
DICK GREGORY

Home Place
We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be a great entertainer, and that wasn’t it either. I’m going to be an American Citizen. First-class.
DICK GREGORY

Athlete Citizenship Greatness Myself Wrong
People with high blood pressure, diabetes – those are conditions brought about by lifestyle. If you change the lifestyle, those conditions will leave.
DICK GREGORY

Change Health Life People
I wouldn’t mind paying taxes – if I knew they were going to a friendly country.
DICK GREGORY

Country Friendship Mindset Myself Pay
I personally believe breathatarianism to be the highest mode of human living breathing in pure air, absorbing the direct light and energies of the sun, bathing in pure water I look at the obituaries every morning and ain’t nobody listed but you eaters.
DICK GREGORY

Believe Breathe Human Light Live Morning Myself Sun
It was an unwritten law that black comics were not permitted to work white nightclubs. You could sing and you could dance, but you couldn’t stand flat-footed and talk; that was a no-no.
DICK GREGORY

Black Dance Law Sing Talk Writing
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
DICK GREGORY

Believe Darkness Myself
Makes you wonder. When I left St. Louis, I was making five dollars a night. Now I’m getting $5,000 a week — for saying the same things out loud I used to say under my breath.
DICK GREGORY

Breathe Night Wonderful Yourself
Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
DICK GREGORY

Beginning Forget Marriage Politics Promise Relationship
I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.
DICK GREGORY

Career Laughter Myself
When I first broke through, there was only NBC, CBS and ABC, and they had news in the morning and in the evening – there wasn’t no 24-hour news.
DICK GREGORY

Break Morning Myself Time
Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: ‘We don’t serve colored people here.’ I said: ‘that’s all right, I don’t eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.
DICK GREGORY

Eat Food Myself Oppression People Right Time
If it wasn’t for Abe Lincoln, I’d still be on the open market.
DICK GREGORY

Myself Poor
America will tolerate the taking of a human life without giving it a second thought. But don’t misuse a household pet.
DICK GREGORY

Animal Human Life Tolerance
It’s cool to be healthy.
DICK GREGORY

Health Instagram Captions One Liner
And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you stands still while the Southern part tries to secede.
DICK GREGORY

Dance Love War

If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol, and caffeine off the market for six days, they’d have to bring out the tanks to control you.

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If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol, and caffeine off the market for six days, they’d have to bring out the tanks to control you.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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