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By the time I was in the fourth grade, I sounded exactly like my father on the phone.

Dick Cavett

I would not ever try to be a show intellectual, which I was accused of doing a while on ABC. I thought you were supposed to read the guests’ books.
DICK CAVETT

Alphabet Book Guest Intellectual Reading
If I were running a campaign, I’d urge taking the mountain of money reportedly squandered on pizza, coffee and bagels and spending it more wisely – on a talented young comedy writer.
DICK CAVETT

Campaign Comedy Myself Pizza Run Talent Wisdom Young
I have never been converted to or even had much interest in spiritualism, occultism, Swedenborgianism or any particular religion. And I never, except occasionally for a laugh, visit the quacks who call themselves psychics.
DICK CAVETT

Call Exception Interest Laughter Myself Religion
Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.
DICK CAVETT

Dirty Food Letter Mindset Word
I always wanted to live in a haunted house.
DICK CAVETT

Haunt Home Live Myself
I’m the only talk show host, I think, if there’s such a category in, what’s called, the book of records, to have a guest die while we were taping the show, yeah.
DICK CAVETT

Book Category Death Record Talk Thinking
The brain process that results in a joke materializing where no joke was before remains a mystery. I’m not aware of any scholarly, scientific or neurological studies on the subject.
DICK CAVETT

Brain Joke Mystery Process Result Study Subject
Electronic devices dislike me. There is never a day when something isn’t ailing.
DICK CAVETT

Day Device Myself Sick
You would have to be naive to think you can appear on television and not have the material edited in some way.
DICK CAVETT

Appearance Material Naive Television Thinking Way Yourself
I’m sure I’ve all but lost friends by maintaining that, despite their love for it, I always saw Stanley Kramer’s ‘It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World’ as more of an exercise in anti-comedy than humor.
DICK CAVETT

Exercise Friendship Lost Maintenance Myself
I feel sorry for the poor kids whose parents feel they’re qualified to teach them at home. Of course, some parents are smarter than some teachers, but in the main I see home-schooling as misguided foolishness.
DICK CAVETT

Children Feeling Fools Guide Home Parents Poor Smart
Commercials are not the only exposure that obesity gets on TV. It is by no means a rarity on the wonderful Judge Judy’s show when both plaintiff and accused all but literally fill the screen.
DICK CAVETT

Commercial Exposure Judge Rare Screen
The emotions in all true anxiety dreams are next to unbearable.
DICK CAVETT

Anxiety Bear Dreams Emotion True
It’s a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn’t want to hear.
DICK CAVETT

Himself Person Rare
I live a sensible life. You know, I don’t take on too much.
DICK CAVETT

Life Live Myself
I’m not sure why writing for others became harder. Probably a reluctance to give away anything you might conceivably use yourself caused a block. I did it, but it remained hard when it had once been easy.
DICK CAVETT

Block Easy Hard Myself Reason Writing

By the time I was in the fourth grade, I sounded exactly like my father on the phone.

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By the time I was in the fourth grade, I sounded exactly like my father on the phone.

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