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If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you’d be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.

Brad Williams

I found out if you’re a funny guy, a lot of people like you.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Guy Like People
I don’t know why you’d go to a comedian and say, “You know what? You have a large menu of items, but this one thing I did not like and therefore, you should be shut down. You should cease to make a living and you should be thrown out in the streets.”
BRAD WILLIAMS

Comedian Menus
I was always the funny guy. Everyone wants to hang out with the funny guy.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Funny Guy Guy Want
When a soldier of the night’s watch dies they say, “And now his watch is over.” That’s what they say when a comedian dies. They go, “And now his tour is done.”
BRAD WILLIAMS

Comedian Night Soldier
If I do talk politics it’s very surface, it’s not in-depth.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Depth Politics Surface
Every now and then you’ll say something that didn’t quite work. But the important thing is, as a comic, you try to learn why it didn’t. And then you adjust and figure out how to either make it work or just abandon it because it’s just not funny.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Important Now Then Trying
It’s extremely important for people to be informed and to be educated and to know what’s going in their community and in their country, but every now and then you just kind of want to turn the brain off for a little bit and just laugh and be silly.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Country Educated Extremely Laughing Silly
I would love, obviously, just to keep doing stand-up. That’s the constant. That’s the thing that I’m going to do for the rest of my life, but also I would like a TV show at some point.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Constant Love Show Television
I’m in awe of comics that do things that I can’t do, or haven’t tried doing yet.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Awe Comic Havens Things
Comedian makes the statement that just isn’t true.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Comedian Statements True
If I make a joke about black people or Asian people or whatever, and then an Asian comes up to me afterwards and says, “That joke offended me,” I’m still more or less not going to listen, but at least it makes sense, like I said something that was about them.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Asian Black People
That is the most confusing and insane thing to me, when people get offended on behalf of another group.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Confusing Insane People
I don’t take too many things too seriously.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Many Seriously Things
People ask me a lot like, “Hey, so when are you done with your tour?” Like when I die. That’s when I’m done with my tour.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Done Hey People
I hate that when people are like, “Well, all dwarves know each other, right?” And you want to get mad, but you can’t because we do.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Dwarves Hate People
I’m not going to talk too much politics because I’m not smart enough to do that.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Enough Much Smart Too

If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you’d be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.

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If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you’d be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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