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People ask me a lot like, “Hey, so when are you done with your tour?” Like when I die. That’s when I’m done with my tour.

Brad Williams

I don’t know why you’d go to a comedian and say, “You know what? You have a large menu of items, but this one thing I did not like and therefore, you should be shut down. You should cease to make a living and you should be thrown out in the streets.”
BRAD WILLIAMS

Comedian Menus
Every now and then we’re going to fail.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Every Failing Now Then
People ask me a lot like, “Hey, so when are you done with your tour?” Like when I die. That’s when I’m done with my tour.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Done Hey People
I found out if you’re a funny guy, a lot of people like you.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Guy Like People
I don’t know, why am I called the opposite of what I am? It’s very confusing to me.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Confusing Knows Opposites
I was always the funny guy. Everyone wants to hang out with the funny guy.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Funny Guy Guy Want
I admire ventriloquists, because I can’t do that. I mean, I might get mistaken for a ventriloquist dummy every now and then, but I can’t do what they do.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Mean might Now Then
In every other aspect of their life, we have entertainment that is crafted almost to an individual. So they expect that from stand-up as well.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Aspect Entertainment Individual
I hate that when people are like, “Well, all dwarves know each other, right?” And you want to get mad, but you can’t because we do.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Dwarves Hate People
It’s very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Comedian Confusing People
Comedian makes the statement that just isn’t true.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Comedian Statements True
I’m funny because I’m funny. And there’s more to offer.
BRAD WILLIAMS

More Offers Funny
There are plenty of wonderful, good fat people in the USA that have no problems being fat, who I have no problems with being fat.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Country People Problem
There are things that I won’t joke about, but it’s not because I don’t think they’re funny or they can’t be made funny. It’s just that they don’t fit my particular skill set.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Apart Haer Joke Skills Thinking
I’m in awe of comedians that do things that I can’t do, whether it be a one-liner comic like Anthony Jeselnik, whether it be social issues commentary, whether it be – hell, Carrot Top. I can’t be Carrot Top. I can’t.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Comedian Issues
I was a disabled child. So, people made fun of me, don’t pretend like this never happens. But at the same time, I never cried about it. I never got sad about it.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Children Fun People

People ask me a lot like, “Hey, so when are you done with your tour?” Like when I die. That’s when I’m done with my tour.

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People ask me a lot like, “Hey, so when are you done with your tour?” Like when I die. That’s when I’m done with my tour.

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Popular Authors

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