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People ask me a lot like, “Hey, so when are you done with your tour?” Like when I die. That’s when I’m done with my tour.

Brad Williams

There are plenty of wonderful, good fat people in the USA that have no problems being fat, who I have no problems with being fat.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Country People Problem
If I make a joke about black people or Asian people or whatever, and then an Asian comes up to me afterwards and says, “That joke offended me,” I’m still more or less not going to listen, but at least it makes sense, like I said something that was about them.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Asian Black People
In every other aspect of their life, we have entertainment that is crafted almost to an individual. So they expect that from stand-up as well.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Aspect Entertainment Individual
I was always the funny guy. Everyone wants to hang out with the funny guy.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Funny Guy Guy Want
Every now and then we’re going to fail.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Every Failing Now Then
I try not to be hateful.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Country Hateful People Trying
I found out if you’re a funny guy, a lot of people like you.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Guy Like People
Yeah, people do need to realize that just because they’ve seen me perform for an hour does not mean that we are now close.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Mean People Realized Seen
There is often times when I’m in a bar or after a show, and a woman just grabs my head and shoves it into her cleavage, or grabs my ass, or something like that which – don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining, but it’s just interesting. It’s just interesting that that occurs.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Bar Complaining Interesting
It’s weird when people ask me, “Why are you so nice?” It’s like, “Because that’s just what you should do. You should be kind to people.” It seems really basic, but it’s amazing how many people forget that.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Be Kind Nice People
I’m funny because I’m funny. And there’s more to offer.
BRAD WILLIAMS

More Offers Funny
I don’t know, why am I called the opposite of what I am? It’s very confusing to me.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Confusing Knows Opposites
If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you’d be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Average League Thinking
When a soldier of the night’s watch dies they say, “And now his watch is over.” That’s what they say when a comedian dies. They go, “And now his tour is done.”
BRAD WILLIAMS

Comedian Night Soldier
I don’t take too many things too seriously.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Many Seriously Things
It’s very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Comedian Confusing People

People ask me a lot like, “Hey, so when are you done with your tour?” Like when I die. That’s when I’m done with my tour.

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People ask me a lot like, “Hey, so when are you done with your tour?” Like when I die. That’s when I’m done with my tour.

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Popular Authors

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