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Oh, I know: If you’re fat, let’s not blame you, let’s sue McDonalds! Oh, for cryin’ out loud, hey, if you smoke, not your fault, it’s the tobacco company’s fault! Hey, if you shoot somebody, not your fault, let’s blame the gun industry!

Brad Stine

The truth is supposed to hurt. That’s how it lets you know you don’t got it.
BRAD STINE

Hurt Truth
You know what offends me? Offended people. In a country with guaranteed rights to freedom of religion, its citizens are constantly trying to make faith in public spheres illegal, I am offended by that contradiction and want to talk about it as a comic.
BRAD STINE

Country People Rights
They got special terms that they use when they’re pregnant. They don’t even say pregnant, got special words they use – I’m expecting. Expecting what? I’m expecting a child, silly. Well, then, you probably got a good shot!
BRAD STINE

Children Expecting Silly Special Words
It’s about something that strikes you as funny but I do it with a Christian world view: why we think the way we do based on God’s plan. I lift up my God and my country and I resist political correctness.
BRAD STINE

Christian Country Thinking
If God is a crutch, then atheism is a coma.
BRAD STINE

Atheism Coma Crutches
If we all die and there is no God, then it’s just eternal unconsciousness, you’ll never know, but if you’re wrong… you’ll know forever.
BRAD STINE

Die Eternal Forever God No
I suffer from two phobias: 1) Phobia-Phobia, the fear that you’re unable to get scared, and 2) Xylophataquieopiaphobia, the fear of not pronouncing words correctly.
BRAD STINE

Phobia Scared Suffering Two
I bring up God alot in my show, know why? Because I miss him.
BRAD STINE

Knows Missing Shows
God is a crutch? Yeah, well, not believing in God is a coma.
BRAD STINE

Believe Crutches Yeah
Who is more irrational, the guy who believes in a God he can’t see, or a guy who’s offended by a God he doesn’t believe in?
BRAD STINE

Believe Guy Irrational
If the truth conflicts with my beliefs, I change my beliefs.
BRAD STINE

Belief Conflict Truth
The way to stop political correctness is to not do it. If someone says, You offended me then you say I don’t care! If they’re offended by the truth, that’s their issue!
BRAD STINE

Care Issues Political
We should have a way of telling people they have bad breath without hurting their feelings. Well, I’m bored. Let’s go brush our teeth. Or, I’ve got to make a phone call. Hold this gum in your mouth.
BRAD STINE

Hurt Phones Should Have
Oh, I know: If you’re fat, let’s not blame you, let’s sue McDonalds! Oh, for cryin’ out loud, hey, if you smoke, not your fault, it’s the tobacco company’s fault! Hey, if you shoot somebody, not your fault, let’s blame the gun industry!
BRAD STINE

Company Gun Mcdonalds Smoking Tobacco

Oh, I know: If you’re fat, let’s not blame you, let’s sue McDonalds! Oh, for cryin’ out loud, hey, if you smoke, not your fault, it’s the tobacco company’s fault! Hey, if you shoot somebody, not your fault, let’s blame the gun industry!

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Oh, I know: If you’re fat, let’s not blame you, let’s sue McDonalds! Oh, for cryin’ out loud, hey, if you smoke, not your fault, it’s the tobacco company’s fault! Hey, if you shoot somebody, not your fault, let’s blame the gun industry!

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Brad Stine Quotes