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My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.

Boris Johnson

Try as I might, I could not look at an overhead projection of a growth profit matrix and stay conscious.
BORIS JOHNSON

Growth Looks Trying
Nothing excites compassion, in friend and foe alike, as much as the sight of you ker-splonked on the Tarmac with your propeller buried six feet under.
BORIS JOHNSON

Compassion Feet Sight
The volunteering spirit of Londoners is part of what makes this the best big city on earth.
BORIS JOHNSON

Cities Earth Volunteer
I think it’d be disgraceful if a chap wasn’t allowed to have a bit of fun in Las Vegas. The real scandal would be if you went to Vegas and you didn’t misbehave in some trivial way.
BORIS JOHNSON

Allow Behave Grace Reality Way
I am supporting David Cameron purely out of cynical self-interest.
BORIS JOHNSON

Interest Myself Pure Support
I’d like thousands of schools as good as the one I went to, Eton.
BORIS JOHNSON

Education Goodness Myself
He thinks of himself as a gigantic keystone in the arch, with all the lesser stones logically induced to support his position. He has a kind of semi-ideology to go with it – a leftish Toryism: imperialist, romantic, but on the side of the working man.
BORIS JOHNSON

Ideology Lesser Logically Position
I cant remember what my line on drugs is. Whats my line on drugs?
BORIS JOHNSON

Drug Lines Remember
The only reason I wouldn’t go to some parts of New York is the real risk of meeting Donald Trump.
BORIS JOHNSON

Myself Reality Reason Risk
They say he is shortly off to the Congo. No doubt the AK47s will fall silent, and the pangas will stop their hacking of human flesh, and the tribal warriors will all break out in Watermelon smiles to see the big white chief touch down in his big white British taxpayer-funded bird.
BORIS JOHNSON

Break Country Out Pangas Shortly Warriors
Plus I think she can articulate what’s needed at the moment, which is a bit of an antidote to some of the gloom and negativity and misunderstanding about what the Brexit vote means.
BORIS JOHNSON

Misunderstanding Moment Negativity
I would ban sweets from school – but this pressure to bring in healthy food is too much.
BORIS JOHNSON

Food Healthy Myself Pressure
When Cameron’s Conservatives come to power it will be a golden age for cyclists and an Elysium of cycle lanes, bike racks, and sharia law for bike thieves. And I hope that cycling in London will become almost Chinese in its ubiquity.
BORIS JOHNSON

Cycling Law Ubiquity
Can I say anything good about Ken Livingstone? A long time ago he did some good things, but I can’t now remember what any of them were.
BORIS JOHNSON

Anything Long Remember Say
We split the atom, and now we have to get French or Korean scientists to help us build nuclear power stations. We perfected the finest cars on earth-and now Rolls-Royce is in the hands of the Germans.
BORIS JOHNSON

Country Nuclear Power Rolls Royale Scientist Stations
I think the risks that people see of terrorism are incredibly important but we are very confident we have got the right people on it and the risks have been minimised.
BORIS JOHNSON

People Risk Thinking

My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.

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My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.

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