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My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.

Boris Johnson

I have come to the conclusion that Tony Blair has finally gone mad … he made assertions that are so jaw-droppingly and breathtakingly at variance with reality that he surely needs professional psychiatric help.
BORIS JOHNSON

Mad Needs Reality
Do you seriously propose that they are going to be so insane as to allow tariffs to be imposed. The EU is, I’m afraid a job destroying engine.
BORIS JOHNSON

Country Europe Jobs
It hasn’t taken them long, they began by telling us they would have a positive and patriotic case and they’re back to project fear within minutes. There they go again they have nothing positive to say.
BORIS JOHNSON

Long Patriotic Taken
The meat in the sausage has got to be Conservative.
BORIS JOHNSON

Conservative Meat Sausage
There is absolutely no one, apart from yourself, who can prevent you, in the middle of the night, from sneaking down to tidy up the edges of that hunk of cheese at the back of the fridge.
BORIS JOHNSON

Cheese Middle Night
Hitler showed the evil that could be done by the art of rhetoric. Churchill showed how it could help to save humanity.
BORIS JOHNSON

Art Evil Help Himself Humanity Save
Plus I think she can articulate what’s needed at the moment, which is a bit of an antidote to some of the gloom and negativity and misunderstanding about what the Brexit vote means.
BORIS JOHNSON

Misunderstanding Moment Negativity
He is like some sherry-crazed old dowager who has lost the family silver at roulette, and who now decides to double up by betting the house as well.
BORIS JOHNSON

Business Debt House
I lead a life of blameless domesticity and always have done.
BORIS JOHNSON

Blame Leadership Life Myself
Dark forces dragged me away from the keyboard, swirling forces of irresistible intensity and power.
BORIS JOHNSON

Darkness Force Intense Power
I lead a life of blameless domesticity and always have done.
BORIS JOHNSON

Blameless Domesticity Done
Life isn’t like coursework, baby. It’s one damn essay crisis after another.
BORIS JOHNSON

Crisis Essay Life Oneself
The difference between Hitler’s speeches and Churchill’s speeches was that Hitler made you think he could do anything; Churchill made you think you could do anything.
BORIS JOHNSON

Differences Speech Thinking
He wished that Britain had ‘a man of his supreme quality at the head of affairs in our country today’. This from the hero of the First World War! The man who had led Britain to victory over the Kaiser!
BORIS JOHNSON

Country Raised Today Victory
They say he is shortly off to the Congo. No doubt the AK47s will fall silent, and the pangas will stop their hacking of human flesh, and the tribal warriors will all break out in Watermelon smiles to see the big white chief touch down in his big white British taxpayer-funded bird.
BORIS JOHNSON

Break Country Out Pangas Shortly Warriors
Churchill decides from very early on that he will create a political position that is somehow above left and right, embodying the best points of both sides and thereby incarnating the will of the nation.
BORIS JOHNSON

Men Political Thinking

My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.

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My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.

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