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Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3.

Boris Johnson

Dark forces dragged me away from the keyboard, swirling forces of irresistible intensity and power.
BORIS JOHNSON

Darkness Force Intense Power
I have not been more robust towards female rather than male assembly members and I do not believe I have been remotely sexist.
BORIS JOHNSON

Believe Female Males
Nothing excites compassion, in friend and foe alike, as much as the sight of you ker-splonked on the Tarmac with your propeller buried six feet under.
BORIS JOHNSON

Compassion Excitement Sight
I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as of being decapitated by a frisbee or of finding Elvis.
BORIS JOHNSON

Chance Finding Myself
My friends, as I have discovered myself, there are no disasters, only opportunities. And, indeed, opportunities for fresh disasters.
BORIS JOHNSON

Disaster Discover Friendship Myself Opportunity
We should celebrate immigrants and everything they do for our country.
BORIS JOHNSON

Celebration Country Immigrant Ourselves
I think the risks that people see of terrorism are incredibly important but we are very confident we have got the right people on it and the risks have been minimised.
BORIS JOHNSON

People Risk Thinking
I lead a life of blameless domesticity and always have done.
BORIS JOHNSON

Blameless Domesticity Done
My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it.
BORIS JOHNSON

Cake Eat Myself Policy
It was the kind of blind, gulping, insensate greed that you associate with some milk-eyed creature in a volcanic fissure at the bottom of the Marianas Trench-an organism with no understanding of the existence, let alone the feelings, of other members of the ecosystem.
BORIS JOHNSON

Ecosystems Greed Understanding
The difference between Hitler’s speeches and Churchill’s speeches was that Hitler made you think he could do anything; Churchill made you think you could do anything.
BORIS JOHNSON

Difference Speech Thinking Yourself
London is the sporting capital of the world. I say to the Chinese and I say to the world, ping pong is coming home.
BORIS JOHNSON

Capital Home Myself Sports World
I dont see why people are so snooty about Channel Five. It has some respectable documentaries about the Second World War. It also devotes considerable airtime to investigations into lap-dancing, and other related and vital subjects
BORIS JOHNSON

Dance Documentary People Respect War World
I am supporting David Cameron purely out of cynical self-interest.
BORIS JOHNSON

Cynical Interest Self
The meat in the sausage has got to be Conservative.
BORIS JOHNSON

Conservative Meat Sausage
Some people play the piano, some do Sudoku, some watch television, some people go out to dinner parties. I write books.
BORIS JOHNSON

Book People Play Watch

Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3.

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Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3.

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