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Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3.

Boris Johnson

I have come to the conclusion that Tony Blair has finally gone mad … he made assertions that are so jaw-droppingly and breathtakingly at variance with reality that he surely needs professional psychiatric help.
BORIS JOHNSON

Mad Needs Reality
Never in my life did I think I would be congratulated by Mick Jagger for achieving anything.
BORIS JOHNSON

Achievement Life Myself Thinking
David Lloyd George had been to Germany, and been so dazzled by the Führer that he compared him to George Washington. Hitler was a ‘born leader’, declared the befuddled former British Prime Minister.
BORIS JOHNSON

Country Hero War
I’m no communist.I’m a tax cutting Conservative. But I want a capitalism that is fairer to forgotten people.
BORIS JOHNSON

Cutting People Want
Dark forces dragged me away from the keyboard, swirling forces of irresistible intensity and power.
BORIS JOHNSON

Darkness Force Intense Power
This is our chance to build a Britain where everyone benefits from the success of the economy.
BORIS JOHNSON

Benefits Chance Economy
It just happens I write fast and always have done.
BORIS JOHNSON

Fast Myself Writing
The crucial thing is to look in an informed way at what’s going on. Look at the way in which we are forced by our imbalanced system to push away people who might contribute mightily to the NHS.
BORIS JOHNSON

Force Imbalance Looks People System
We did everything we could to break down barriers that restrain poorest.
BORIS JOHNSON

Break Poor Restrain
Try as I might, I could not look at an overhead projection of a growth profit matrix and stay conscious.
BORIS JOHNSON

Growth Looks Trying
When Cameron’s Conservatives come to power it will be a golden age for cyclists and an Elysium of cycle lanes, bike racks, and sharia law for bike thieves. And I hope that cycling in London will become almost Chinese in its ubiquity.
BORIS JOHNSON

Cycling Law Ubiquity
London is a fantastic creator of jobs – but many of these jobs are going to people who don’t originate in this country.
BORIS JOHNSON

Creator Job Originate People
The dreadful truth is that when people come to see their MP, they have run out of better ideas.
BORIS JOHNSON

Better Ideas People Truth
When Cameron’s Conservatives come to power it will be a golden age for cyclists and an Elysium of cycle lanes, bike racks, and sharia law for bike thieves. And I hope that cycling in London will become almost Chinese in its ubiquity.
BORIS JOHNSON

Conservatism Cycle Gold Power
My speaking style was criticised by no less an authority than Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was a low moment, my friends, to have my rhetorical skills denounced by a monosyllabic Austrian cyborg.
BORIS JOHNSON

Criticism Low Moments Skills Style Talk
Life isn’t like coursework, baby. It’s one damn essay crisis after another.
BORIS JOHNSON

Crisis Essay Life Oneself

Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3.

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Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3.

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