I can smell parents’ stomach acid right now, but they know that whole “You gotta get a job and you gotta settle for what people perceive as success” thing is really absurd.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITI can smell parents’ stomach acid right now, but they know that whole “You gotta get a job and you gotta settle for what people perceive as success” thing is really absurd.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITHow can you be a vegetarian atheist and own a gun? Well, that’s who I am.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITFame is like a big eraser. It’s strange, now that I’m famous. In my parents’ opinion, all the shitty things – all the wreckage of my past – is erased.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITWhen I was a baby I had no teeth. I couldn’t get a job and I couldn’t eat meat.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITWithout getting too profound, I’m pretty sure that’s where the invention of the afterlife comes from. “
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITQuit everything until you find something that you just cannot quit.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITThat’s human nature – we want to completely rewrite history so it can be comfortable.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITStand-up was interesting to me at the beginning, because I was trying to parody it. My early stand-up was really Andy Kaufman-esque, and then I became the very thing I was making fun of.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITI’m against gun control. It’s not that I like guns, it’s just that allowing Americans to have guns will increase the chances that a bunch of rednecks will blow each other’s heads off.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITIf you ever see me at a boat show or at a car show, blow my head off.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITWe don’t really become worm food. We go to a magical place with bunnies and rainbows.”
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITThey never were given a chance to give their respects to the death of the guy they loved back in ’84.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITI lost my job, well I didn’t lose it, I know where it is, there’s just some other guy doing it now.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITGo on, try weasel, try squirrel; it tastes like chicken, it tastes just like chicken! If it tastes just like chicken, why don’t you gimme some damn chicken?
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITIn my first stand-up acts there wasn’t material even. You know, I’d go on stage and cry and read a Dear John letter or gut fish on stage. I could be odd – and it’s what interested me as a comedian.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITIn fact, with Michael Jackson, I think those mourning people… They aren’t even waking Michael, they’re waking the Michael Jackson of ’84.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT